- This topic has 2 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 3 years, 3 months ago by worriedsister.
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May 1, 2021 at 5:35 pm #6712jk29Participant
Before I met my partner he was a functioning addict, he had taken everything at one stage or another. He also suffers with depression and had an episode of drug induced psychosis before. Anyway when we got together he told me he was clean off everything. Things were great for ages. He then became quiet distant, with me was very short and loveless towards me and I suspected he was having an affair. When I threatened to leave he came clean and told me he relapsed and had been smoking crack. He said he was going to stop. He started smoking weed then and said it was to calm him down from the withdrawals of the crack. I later found out he was never actually clean from weed he just never smoked it around me because he knows I’m anti drugs. Things went back to somewhat normal for a little while. He started back in work and seemed to be doing great he had so much energy was working double shifts and seemed really passionate about his new job. He told me he had come off his anti depressants cold turkey as he felt he didn’t need them, and he was very loving towards me again. A Few weeks later then he started to get very angry and irritable. He always had a temper but this was worse than id seen before, he was frustrated with himself aswell as everyone around him. He would apologise after it. Then one day he lost the plot with my daughter (not his) and I walked out of his house. He text me 20 minutes later and told me we were finished. Bear in mind a few hours before this we were walking about getting a new engagement ring for our anniversary. That was 3 weeks ago and he hasn’t contacted me since. I text him and asked was he back on drugs and that if he was I was there to support him in getting help. He then blocked me. I don’t know what to do, should I go to him and find out what’s going on, I’m afraid he’s in a downward spiral of self distruction. Or do i just let him go. Him coming of anti depressants and the sudden surge in energy can’t just be a coincendance can it?
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May 5, 2021 at 10:30 am #23096icarus-trustParticipant
Thanks for posting and sharing your story. I’m sorry that things aren’t good for you at the moment because of your partner’s addiction. If you would like some help for yourself please contact us at Icarus Trust. We are a charity that offers support to people going through addiction in their family. We have trained and experienced people you could talk with called family friends, and talking with one of them might help you to answer some of your questions.
You can contact Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website http://www.icarustrust.org
All the best to you.
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May 5, 2021 at 9:26 pm #23114worriedsisterParticipant
I’m so sorry.
I don’t know the right answer but I can’t imagine how you are feeling.
I wish addicts would think about loved ones before behaving the way they do but sadly the drugs come before everyone and everything.
I think if I were in your shoes I would try and help him BUT when I read this and think about it I would advise you not to….. he needs to help himself.
It is so difficult as we love and care for these people and it’s so hard to let them go but if they are going to do it they will.
I just found out my partner does crack and smokes heroin and he won’t talk to me about it .
I’ve tried via text as I thought it would be less pressured but he just ignores it and then carries on like nothing is wrong.
I mean he’s functioning works and you wouldn’t know at all I was so shocked.
But eventually it will takes its toll or he will depend on it more.
It’s such a tricky situation as I know like me you love your partner , so it’s up to you what you do or what you feel is right.
We also need to remember about our own well being and your children’s x
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