[harry123]

I write this in hopes that it can help anyone before they sabotage there life to the point it Carnt be fixed. I’ve always done drugs since the age of 15 started off smoking weed then tried mkat and started to sell to all my friends on a weekend when partying to feed my habit and as I grew older it changed to coke but I was never really bad I could control myself then I met the first girl I’ve ever loved when I was 18 she fell pregnant within the first month so we stayed together and made something off it but she made me stop selling drugs and taking them so I stopped and got a proper job at a factory but I still took drugs on a weekend I was always lieing to her about it to avoid arguments but she always new we had another child and she was so good to me but I took for granted what I had with my family and I would rather get drunk and sniff with my mates on a weekend then spend time with them so we split up and that’s when I got really bad I was sniffing 0.7 to 1.7 a day got in so much dept and just fucked everything didn’t go to work as I would be off my head laid in bed I couldn’t look after my kids as I would get sniffed up and have to cancel I looked back and realised every problem I had at the root of them all boiled down to drugs I was just sabotage everything but I couldn’t stop and now it’s to late I’ve lost my family the people who really cared for me but I choose coke and my friends over them I had so many chances and I just blew it so I decided to take my life as I feel like they deserve better than a drug addict who chooses drugs over them luckily I didn’t die as I didn’t want to die I just wanted my life back to how it was but I Carnt so to all you lads out there don’t choose to go out with your mates and get sniffed up or secretly have a sniff at home choose your family they are the ones who are really there for you and once you loose them it’s a regret that will play on your mind forever sorry for how long it was but I just hope if someone reads this they can change and see what will happen if they carry on taking drugs they will loose everything like I have

[lindyloo]

Hi Harry, welcome to the forum and thank you for being so up front and honest about your addiction. I really do hope that someone will read your story and seek support after reading it.

I am the mum of an addict ( currently in early recovery- thank God). He has cocaine and alcohol addictions. The alcohol triggers the need for cocaine.

Our lives as a family in recent years have been a horrible nightmare thanks to that evil drug.

Thankfully my son reached out for help 2 years ago, he was up to his eyes in debt, dealers breaking the door down, about to lose his job, flat, everything. We could see that he was really trying hard, by joining CA and AA meetings and going regularly, working the 12 steps with a sponsor. He’s relapsed a few times but this happens.

Harry what I’m trying to say is – it’s not too late to seek help. You can get clean again and see your children again, it takes great strength, willpower and faith to do this thing. You’ll get all this with the CA groups.

Please think about this, you sound like a nice person, you’re really worth the effort my friend.

Take care and look after yourself.

Lx

[harry123]

Thanks for taking the time to read that Lindy it just felt nice to get it all off my chest cocaine is very self destructive I’m glad you son is doing well as it’s such a hard addiction to stop as there are so many triggers and “friends” who encourage you and let you relapse these last 2 years have been the worst of my life I don’t even remember what it’s like to be happy I still do get to see my kids but at best it’s 1 day a week and that’s if don’t relapse and have to cancel because I’ve done it again taking coke just let’s me escape for a few hours the sad life that I’m living but I know that taking it is only making me worse I do want to change but I’m a weak person but I’m gona look into CA groups now I’ve never heard of them before so hopefully they can help me last longer than 2 days before I relapse thanks L I really appreciate you taking the time to reply it’s put a smile on my face and I needed that thank you x

[lindyloo]

You’re welcome Harry ????

I’ll keep you in my prayers to give you the strength to fight this battle. You won’t regret joining these meetings, my son gets wonderful support from the group.

He’s at the stage now when he’s helping others too.

Take care and keep posting here to let us know how you’re doing Harry.

Lx

[harry123]

Hi not had that best few weeks replapsed numerous times really want to just get rid of this as it’s controlling my life but I know deep down inside it’s only me who can make this change and if I was serious I wouldn’t relapse like I have not been to a meeting yet but spoke on phone to someone who has been through it all and has made a change but I make a change for a day or 2 then I just revert back to being lazy ruin myself hopefully one day soon I can truly change instead of lying to myself every week glad your son is doing well it gives me hope that someone my age can beat this and be happy again x

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