[josephliverpool]

Firstly, I can’t believe that I’m here.

So, this started about three years ago, my then gf (now wife) were avid cocaine users, we would use 3-4 times a week, come home from work, start using, be up until 6am and then go straight to work.

It all got too much so we booked a two week holiday to stay away from the stuff. Whilst away, we decided that we wanted to try for a baby and luckily, we conceived within three months of trying.

Obviously, my wife stopped using and though I had, but I hadn’t. I told her I had and we laughed about couples who had one partner using whilst the other was oblivious, however I was also in the same type of relationship.

I’d say I used without her knowing about 2-3 times.

It all came to a head last weekend when I was on my stag and bought some more cocaine. She was using my laptop, my WhatsApp web was logged in and she read the messages. I then admitted to the other times I had used.

She has now left our home where we have been for eight months and wants a divorce, we have only been married for just over 12 months.

She is so so angry that I have lied to her this whole time and I don’t know what to do, I am so drained and want to fight for us but she does not want to. I have no idea what I can tell my friends or family about why we have separated, the thought of telling them the truth devastates me.

[rachell]

Hi my husband abused Cocaine for a long time with out me knowing. So I understand how your wife feels. I have dealt with his abuse for years and I know that him watching me go through that pain has made it harder for him to get clean because he feels so guilty. I know it might not sound like it now. But take this opportunity to turn yourself around. Talk to your family and get support like NA. Your wife will may or may not come back. But change yourself for yourself and your baby. It really is never to late to change. My husband has done horrible things to me with his abuse and I still love him and understand he has an addiction. It will take take but your family and I think your wife will be willing to be understanding, if you are willing to put in the hard work it takes to be sober.

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