[mandy]

My brother is 39-lives with my 65 year old mother and has done for most of his adult life except when my parents tried to help him live independently by setting him up in 4 separate flats and houses. He always ended up back at my mums because he never paid a single bill-his money has always been prioritised as – dope first, before food, gas electric etc. He has taken various drugs over the years and if he got paid on a Friday would go out and have nothing by Saturday morning-all gone on drugs and alcohol and gambling. He has 2 sons but his relationship broke up because he would not commit. He see’s his boys every week. My mum is now paying for him to live with her and his sons to stay there every week and in the last 3 years she has got into debt because of my brother. Bailiffs called yesterday and began to remove all of my mothers belongings because of a court fine of my brothers from 5 years ago. His response was only-“You shouldn’t have answered the door” even though my mum was very distressed. She has worked her whole life for her things and because of him I fear she will be left with nothing. He has now said to my mum that he will just have to be homeless as he is bringing her down to the gutter. As a family we cant understand why homelessness is favoured over just getting a paid job and contributing. He received £750 last week from the sale of his car and was broke within 3 days none of us know where that money went yet we can guess. He has not worked now for 2 years and just seems to not care about anyone. If you try to discuss any of this with him he will put his hands on his head and say I cant listen to this. We are at our wits end. We tell our mum to just chuck him out but she cant bear the thought of him sleeping rough of doing something stupid -so there lies the problem and he knows it-she is trapped. He doesn’t think he has a problem with dope yet if he has the money he will spend £20 a day on it. What do you do with someone like that?

[final-chance]

Hi Mandy your post struck a chord with me, I am so sorry for what’s happened to your Mum. My brother doesn’t have children I had always thought that maybe if he had,things would have been different….if he’d had someone depending on him he would have woken up to what a waste he was making of his life sooner. Your brother does seem to acknowledge what he is doing,I hope this is the beginning of a change for him. I’ve heard it said that you have to be at your lowest point before desiring the change,in the meantime I send healing thoughts to you and your family

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