[piepix]

Hi, I don’t really know what I am looking for, maybe just talking to people who are in similar circumstances might help. I had been with my husband for 19 years, we had a beautiful house , beautiful children, he is a director of a company, peachy. Then two years ago he burnt out, completely crashed. I made him go to the dr and he was diagnosed with depression. Just two months later I discovered he had been having a affair for the last two years. I was devastated, he left. My children were broken. Within weeks he was back, but he was different, he was up all night and awake for days then would crash for days at a time. During which time if I could get any response from him to try to get him to drink or eat, he would verbally abuse me. Then little glass pipes appeared, I had no idea what the were to start with. I confronted him and it was a one off, he was sorry, it would never happen again. But it did. On and off for the next 18months he would be up and down, disappearing for days at a time, crashing for days. Shouting at me awfully and in front of the children, I had constant harassment from this other woman as if I was the mistress. Then one day last year he disappeared but took the car, I was unable to collect our youngest from school and had to call for help. I couldn’t trace him for hours and when I finally made contact, he was psychotic (and with her, his mistress and enabler) I snapped, I told him to leave. I had concerns about the stability of the property with him financially involved, so I got him to buy me out and have relocated a few hundred mile away from the chaos that he brings. When he is on form, he is great, he is kind and supportive and my best friend is back. He helped me find a new house, he understood I was doing this to give the children stability and him the space to get himself clean and healthy, family life was too much for him apparently. He swears he is clean. But then a few weeks ago he visited us for a few days as is usual and when he left I found a meth pipe in my house. I lost it with him, I had thought I had made it very clear this was a safe space for the children and I won’t have that in my home. I told him this was his last opportunity to get the help he needed because I could not have this around the children. Full of apologise as always.

This brings us to this week. He shared a video to a family sharing album (which luckily I saw before the children could) of himself shooting up. My heart is broken. He is on a path that is not leading to a good place. I have told my children that daddy is dependent and that it is currently not safe for them to see him. That they can call him if they want to and that hopefully one day he will be able to be their daddy again and see them.

I told him the same thing and he has agreed he needs to get help and that he will not contact again until he has sought that help, but I am doubtful that he will get help, he seems hell bent on destroying himself.

I am just so worried about my children. Am I doing the right thing? I have reiterated to them that I love them and this is not in any way their fault and that I hope it is not a permanent thing. But am I right to have stopped visits? How can I help them through this?

[Author]

Posts