[angrybystander]

So for the 7th time in the past few years, my MIL has stopped her late stage cihrosis treatment, ghosted her docs & psych counsellors for months of pure binging daily. She hardly eats but is ballooned up like a corpse with the smell to boot. She looks like she’s 9 months pregnant. A rotting ulcer on her leg overtaking the stench of the feces & urine on her clothes.

It’s like a victorian sonnet about that sweet, musty smell of rotting liver juice coming out of her breath & her pores. Her liver is basically liquified & pouring out of her along with feces. The feces has long seeped thru the towels & whatever else into her couch, through the fabric, padding & onto the carpet beneath.

This is what I saw when I brought her a plate of xmas dinner, a box of homemade butter cookies. She was so weak that I was just able to force my way into her apartment. I had not seen her since June. She’s manipulated & almost totally shut out her son, my partner. He had the smarts to let her choose her own fate at 57 years old. I decided to be the “responsible” one & force my way to see how far she’s relapsed. If she was stronger, she would have blocked the door like she always does or not even answer.

I think she has about 1 to 2 years left if she quits drinking after she gets out of the hospital. Nobody smells like *that* decomposed & lives very long I don’t think. She was very physically, mentally, emotionally abusive to my partner as a child. She was a jehovah’s witness cult member when he was a child & messed him up. He still has a hard time going to a physician & trusting doctors & modern medicine. He has scars from all the self harm he’s done to himself to cope.

I feel bad for him cos he’s trying to scrub her filth outta her carpets & clean the hoarders paradise she has complete with flies, junk mail, puddles of urine & vomit. The flies that must have been eating at her leg ulcer by the way it smelled.

She might have to get an amputation if she escapes the hospital & buys booze again like she did last time. I hope she’s out of her misery soon…. I am not trusting her anymore when I text or call her to ask how she is & if she needs anything. She’s really good at lying & hiding everything. She’ll always make up some lie that she has to go cos shes getting ready for a daily appointment or her phone is dying or she’s going to bed.

I just hope that when she goes, it’s in the hospital not inside her pigsty apartment soon to end her suffering. I pity her at the same time, I despise her for putting my partner thru this. She went thru horrific sexual abuse as a child. We tried everything, including tough love, and calling the cops to break her door down. Her door has to be replaced after the millionth time. She just giggles & says the equivalent of “oops.” when we try to comfront her about her inabilty to care for herself or live alone anymore.

I don’t want her in my home as if she’ll even agree but I ain’t living with a drunkie hoarder. I came back from a bad childhood myself & struggle with my own bipolar, epilepsy, chronic pain. I’ve been sober from booze for over 3 yrs. She has the gall to look down on me cos I smoke weed daily in my own home. (It’s legal here.)

I’m just done. I spent over $500 on xmas dinner alone for 3 of us. I tried so hard. I don’t want to respond to her giant tantrum she’s pulling on her own son & his sister, who has the sense to stay away after failing to help her. She has no other family & my partner is resigned to letting her do whatever she wants. He still gives her money, pays her bills, helps her with rent…. thru e-transfer because she won’t see him in person. At the end of the day, if she dies in a pile of soiled depends, safeway fliers & takeout menus & her own feces, I’m sure the cops will blame us.

My partner just cleans up after she’s dragged off to the hospital to have her swollen belly drained of rotting liver juice & go thru her wd’s. She’s at the hospital now but for how long? My partner is enabling her & there’s nothing I can do but just keep calling the cops to do wellness checks. I have no choice. Maybe she’ll get evicted if I take photos & send them to her landlord? Maybe she’ll actually stay in the long term care facility this time if she has no more apartment to trash?

[careaboutyou]

Hi there, sounds like you should just leave her to it, she is way beyond any help at all. Focus on supporting your Partner’s and your own well being.

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