[anon369]

Hi, my partner has been addicted to coke for 5 years. I started lending him money / paying his way at the start when I didn’t realise his money was going on coke. Since then we’ve been stuck in a cycle of him borrowing, paying back, then having a bad patch and having to borrow again. He owes me upwards of £5k. I know it needs to stop. He earns double what I earn but he has exhausted all other means of borrowing (family, friends) as he also owe them all absurd amounts and they now won’t lend him because they think it’s for coke. This month he has no money again because (unbeknownst to me) he managed to rack up an enormous ticket. I’m fed up and I don’t want to lend him any this month. I’ve told him he needs to find other people to ask but he says he has no one. I said his brother or parents but he doesn’t want them to know he is still using and ruin Christmas. I’m at my wits end now because I know what I lend him I won’t get back because his next pay will basically all be going to his tick he has already racked up. I’m thinking about talking to his brother (who earns good money) myself to ask if he can help tide him over until his next pay. I feel like this is inappropriate and unfair for his brother? But I also have nothing left to give and my partner refuses to help find another solution. I’ve not decided what to do long term yet – I just need to get through this month without more debt. Does anyone have any advice?

[anon369]

When I say lend I mean buying all the groceries for the month, covering his half of the direct debits we share etc.

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