[sosad]

My son battled his demons for many years. He couldn’t take it any more and decided to be free from his demons on 15th May this year, just 2 months ago. He was 31 yrs of age. He came from a lovely background. His parents worked, owned their own home. He went to Grammer school., and was loved so so much. Drugs became his life. He stole, lied went to prison and his parents stood by him all the time. Unconditionally. I’m his mum and this is my story. I would give anything to have my boy back. But I want him back in one piece, whole not tormented by drugs, wanting each day to get a fix and how to pay for it, steal, rob. Who knows. He didn’t want to be on this earth surviving each day. It was his choice to take his life, but it doesn’t make the pain any easier. I think of him 90% of each day even in my dreams. He thought of everyone before ending his days. He waited till we returned from holidays because he was looking after our dog( that was his) he did it where I wouldnt find him, his step dad would. He did all his washing and my saving grace was the note he left for his family. To explain he couldn’t live this way anymore. I’m so proud of my boy. He wasn’t a bad lad, drugs turned him into a different person. A person he didn’t want to be. His demons has embedded themselves so deep he could not live each day without them. Please remember this. Addicts don’t always want to be addicts, they can’t help themselves, they don’t want to upset their families. I’m grieving so much now. I’m never going to be the person I was. I love my son so much and always will, addict or not he was my boy.

[fifi65]

My heart goes out to you, I can only imagine the pain you’ve been through and are still going through!!! When drug’s get a hold of our kid’s we lose so so much!! Your boy has freed himself from the torment of being a slave to drug’s and for that no-one could ever blame him.. take care hun, I’m so sorry for your loss xxx

[cant-take-no-more]

Hi scanners…I’m so pleased…small steps , things coming together…I really hope he maintains this positivity..he is very lucky he has such a great mum n dad….hugs Hunni xxx

[trapped]

I am so so sorry :'( xxxxxxx

[gg202]

For the same reason i cant let go completly!!u love him and u live in hope that he will change!!only you can change the cycle!!its not easy infact its heart breaking!!but so is being stuck in the cycle!!i wish u the best of luck x

[lucy]

My heart goes out to you bcoz i too was in your position and i was truly torn between my love for my partner and for the need to live a stable life with no uncertainty and no more heartache i did get to a place where i new i cud only change myself not my partner i cud show him i was there for him but i had to consider weather he wud eva b free from heroin and if i wanted a life that had amazing highs when my partner was clean he was all i eva dreamed ov my soulmate but in reality had come to realise this cycle may never change i started to put myself first but dont know if i cud have ever have truly walked away..my partner sadly passed away earlier this year after an overdosee and myself n my children have lost somebody simply irreplaceable our lives will forver be effected by the loss of him but i no in my heart i did everything i cud for him and i think if you remain their for him but try n focus on yourself you will be able to move forward with your own life..i wish you luck n happiness

[icarus-trust]

HI,
I’m sorry to read how hard things are for you. I work for a charity called The Icarus Trust who would like to help you break the cycle you find yourself in. The charity has a team of people called Family Friends who are trained to support family and friends of addicts. One would be assigned to you and would listen and help you to find a way forward.
Please contact Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website http://www.icarustrst.org
I really hope that you can find some help and support.

[icarus-trust]

Hi Raelynn
It sounds like you are having to cope with a lot at the moment. It must be very worrying for you. Maybe you would like to talk to someone who understands what you are having to deal with and may be able to help you find a way forward for yourself as well as the rest of your family.
I work for a charity called The Icarus Trust that supports the families and friends of addicts. We have experienced trained volunteers called Family Friends who you could talk with. They could also signpost you to other help that is available.
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website http://www.icarustrust.org
I hope that you are able to find some support. Good luck!

[asibling]

Thank you for sharing your story.

It seems there are few services and research done considering the experience of family members, in particular siblings. That is why I am conducting a research project looking at the narratives of siblings, encouraging others like you to share their experiences. If you wish to participate and share your story or would like more information please contact me at u1422721@uel.ac.uk. Thank you.

[hope-faith]

I really feel for you, you cant help your feelings and the love you have for him, remembering the good times, and you want to believe he will change and you hang on to that tiny thread. I know I’ve been with my partner 16yrs and you feel like your on a roundabout going round in circles, my partner has a heart condition on top of the addiction, there are times when enough is enough and I want to end the relationship and say you won Heroin, but then there’s times where I think its not going to beat us and he will get through it, life is a rollercoaster. I just hope and pray one day my partner regains control of his life, and that we can be a ‘normal family’ I live in hope for us all xxx

[icarus-trust]

Hi Susan,
Thanks for posting your story.
if you would like to talk with people who would understand what you are having to deal with please contact The Icarus Trust. We are a charity that provides support to people who are coping with the addictions of a family member.
If you get in touch, one of our experienced trained volunteers will talk to you and maybe help you to work things out.
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website http://www.icarustrust.org
I hope that this helps.

[sosad]

At the moment I’m so sad. I wanted to see him get a good job, bring home a decent girl, have a child, a home to call his own even get grey hair. None of that will happen now. That’s the norm for your children, isn’t it ? I’ve been through every case imaginable with my son.. Clucking. Buying drugs for him, watching him take them, cold turkey many times. The was time was finding syringes. I tried to get help for me as I didn’t know where to turn. There was no help. There was no one I could turn to. I couldn’t speak to friends. I was too embarrassed that my son was an addict. I didn’t tell my family because I didn’t want them thinking bad of him and not inviting him to their homes in fear of him stealing, being around small children with drugs etc. so I kept it all to myself for years. The only time I ever got a decent sleep was when he,d be inprsioned,I even lied to people then and said he was working abroad. For the last 12 yrs he’d led a dismal life. I’m so sad for that. I blame myself as I separated from his dad then and this must have been the trigger for my son, even though he said it wasn’t my fault. You have to blame someone or something. I now have to live with the fact that for my happiness I ruined my sons life and I can never make amends as he not here for me to “fix him and make him well again” I will go to my grave knowing that. Nothing anyone can say will make me believe different. My husband now, I’ve been with for 12 yrs and he has stood by my son through all the bad times, he found him and has to live with that awful memory. He was upset at the time but it’s not HIS son and he can’t have the feelings a mum has. My grieving is probably getting him down by now as I can cry at any time and my emotions now are anger to everyone ( except my son) I haven’t got any patience. And really don’t care about anything. Sorry to go on and on but is there anyone out there who’s experienced this? How do you come through it and be normal again ?

[gg202]

You could visit ur gp and they could do blood tests and see what damage ur doing to ur body.and if ur thinking about stopping (not sure if u are) there is help out there.i know alot of ppl including my ex who have got clean through na (narcotics annonymous)just incase ur thinking about it x

[cant-take-no-more]

Wow you sound like my son use to….he was an addict, and believe it or not said exactly what you have said..the unfortunate thing is addiction creeps up on you….give it another six months, a year, and your world will / could look very different ……Hunni, get to your GP now..make the changes now before it’s too late. My son had over 4 years of hell.we all did..it was stressful, scary and that’s the reality of drugs…if you can get support from family…hugs to you ..you deserve a clean happy life xxxxx

[scanners]

Apart from the cost of this evil white powder which is bashed to pulp and 9 times out of 10 just plain ole paracetamol, it leads to heavy nose bleeds, you look like a zombie when you sniff it, yr eyes pop, and yr constantly sniffing. My son like you , only had it when he went drinking, he liked cannabis more, it got out of control, money, drugs, money…….. stop taking it, get some help, my son is getting help now, it ruins you!! Like cant take no more said give it another 6 months, a year

[scanners]

Things will be much worse, try to get some help from a GP, family or friends. Your very brave asking for advice, hugs to you xxx

[icarus-trust]

Hello,
I’m really sorry to read your story. It’s so good to hear that you have a loving, caring husband who supports you but I’m wondering if you would like to talk with someone who has experience of what you are going through with your mum and your brother.
I work for a charity called The Icarus Trust that was set up to support family and friends of addicts -people like yourself. We have experienced trained volunteers called Family Friends who you could talk to if you thought it would help. It is a free service.
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website http://www.icarustrust.org
I hope that you are able to get some help to make sense of all you have been through.

[icarus-trust]

Hi Charlieboy1
There’s some good advice here but maybe you have found it difficult to talk to a close friend or family member.
The Icarus Trust is a charity who offers a Family Friend service. You would be assigned an individual who would listen, help you understand your situation better and advise you on support that is available.
Please contact Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website http://www.icarustrst.org
I hope that this will be helpful.

[martyncummins@hotmail.com]

re daughter meets druggy
I would like to here from any body else who has or is going through this or similar to see how you are coping or dealing with things and maybe have a chat on this forum as my counsellor tells me it would be good to talk to others

[charlotteicarus]

I am so sorry to hear how your daughter is suffering and how that is affecting your health. You may want to talk to someone who has had some experience of what you have been going through.

I work for a charity called The Icarus Trust that was set up to support families and friends of addicts and they will be able to help you. We have experienced and trained volunteers called Family Friends who you could talk to if you wanted to. It is a free service. You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website http://www.icarustrust.org

I hope that you will be able to get some help and support and good luck with your counselling.

[martyncummins@hotmail.com]

thanks for reply charlotte I am having counselling from Italk organised by my doctor only had one visit so far waiting on more appointments and hope that will help I have talked to three different specialists and they try to show me how to think more positively and look foreword which help but it only takes a small incident to make me feel its all my fault and go back to stage one but I now have your people at Icarus (family friends)trust to listen I will I will contact them when me treatment with italk is done if things don’t get better thank you for advice david

[estrella8952]

I been an addict too for years I do it every day I’ll get for free but I shake and everything I need help but I’d if I’m ready I’m 25

[icarus-trust]

Hi,
I am so glad to read that you are feeling stronger now having been through such an awful experience. You have clearly made some good but difficult decisions.
The Icarus Trust is a charity set up to help the family and friends of those with addictions. We have trained volunteers who have a lot of experience of what you have been through. If you feel it would help to talk things through please contact us and we can put you in touch with one of our Family Friends.
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website http://www.icarustrust.org
Good luck.

[fin]

Reading your post really struck a cord with me. My wife has an alcohol addiction which in the last year has escalated to the point that at the end of May a decision may be taken by child services to exclude her from the family home. I still love her dearly though and I am terrified of that happening but regonise the need for the stability of my kids. My fear is the same as yours – do I need to begin to accept that our relationship may be over or do I continue to support her from a distance. These are simply heart breaking and impossible decisions. I feel for you as I know how hard this is.

[trapped]

I’ve been thinking about you all day. I tried to reply to you earlier but I feel so choked for your loss I could find no words of comfort to offer you. I can’t begin to imagine how unbearable your pain must be right now.

How do you get the through this? Honestly, I’ve no idea. I guess you just get up each day and hope your pain will lessen by the tiniest amount. Allow those who love you to be your strength, don’t worry about being angry, be however you need to be.

Please don’t be too hard on yourself, your pain is great enough without self blame. Take one day at a time, one hour at a time if need be. Know that others do care that you are hurting… even those you have never met. Deb xxx

[cant-take-no-more]

I’ve read and re read your story, and really want to wrap my arms around you. Hunni, the sooner you realise you can’t save him, the sooner you will know that leaving him and being safe was the right decision. Domestic violence is all part of drug use…no they don’t mean it, but the addiction is bigger! And for anyone who thinks domestic violence is a punch or kick, it’s not..what your partner was doing was verbal abuse and that can be far worse than the physical kind..your child deserves to be safe, and not have to deal with this…so do you! If he really wants to change he will….if he wants his fsmily he will fight to stay clean every day….until then you are in the best place..please be aware that addicts are fabulous liars. Please find a support group and go..speak to others. It was my salvation..my son had and still has an addiction to alcohol and varying drugs..he is in recovery, but it’s still as hard…he has lied, stolen, gone to prison …all because of his addictions.ive seen the horrible side of it, been verbally abused, stolen off, and all by my son. Hunni, it’s time to think of you and your child….please please please take care of yourself….hugs xxxx

[icarus-trust]

HI Cant Take No More
Really sorry to hear of what you went through before Christmas. Hoping that things have turned a corner for you and your son.
All the best!

[tonka]

I have read your story you need to believe in yourself and how brave you have been and to think about your self and your son .i believe he will never change ,you need plenty of support from your family and friends to get through this take one step at a time for yourself and your son .you are a very strong person l know you what to be happy l wish you the best and l give you a big hugs always kazxx

[icarus-trust]

Hi,
So sad to read your story. There are people out there who can help you. The Icarus trust is a charity who have a team of Family Friends, one of whom could be assigned to you to listen and help you to find help.
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website http://www.icarustrust.org
I really hope this helps.

[sad-and-tired]

I am so sad for you. There but for the grace of God go any one of us. Don’t blame yourself, drugs are to blame, no anything or anyone else xxxxx

[cant-take-no-more]

Yet again Im bought to tears…Another child loosing the fight against drugs and parents left empty and blaming themselves.. A very special friend who lost her brother to addiction several years ago, (he too committed suicide)spoke some very wise words to me when I was stuck in a dark black hole, not knowing where to go next, or what to do….She told me that we are all responsible for everything we do, and that includes our kids being responsible for what they do too….as parents and siblings of addicts and regardless of their upbringing, our kids choose their addiction..It creeps up on them and before they know it, they are hooked…We dont love them any less…but it is not our fault…..Condolences to you Sosad..my heart breaks for you…hugs and prayers to you all xxxx

[lolipop]

I am so pleased that things are going well for you and your son . I really hope he continues to grow and learn a better way of living his life. You should be proud of yourself too .. You never gave up even when things where very difficult . I live in hope that one day this will happen for my family . Thank you for sharing with us xx

[icarus-trust]

Hi,
Good to hear.
Well done you for not giving up on your son!

[icarus-trust]

Hi,
I can really feel how justifiably angry you are about what has happened. You have been so strong supporting your boyfriend but I am wondering if anyone has been supporting you. I know you say that you deal with things yourself but if you feel that you could do with some help you might want to contact The Icarus Trust. We are a charity that supports the family and friends of people with addiction. Our trained volunteers called family Friends are very experienced and would understand what you are dealing with. You could be put in touch with one of them.
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website http://www.icarustrust.org
I hope that you can get some help to cope with what you have been through. Good luck.

[cazandyx]

Wow… what an amazing young man, and family. It’s very difficult I know but you have remained realistic and your positivity and unconditional love will aid his recovery and keep him strong x

[icarus-trust]

Hi
I’m so sorry to read about how your mum’s drinking is affecting you. It makes it harder because she doesn’t admit that she has a problem. I work for a charity called The Icarus trust. We support the friends and families of people with addictions because we know how difficult it is. If you would like to talk to someone who would understand what you are dealing with, please contact us and we could put you in touch with one of our Family Friends. These are experienced trained volunteers who you could talk with and it may help you to find a way ahead. This is a free service.
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website http://www.icarustrust.org

[ay18]

Hi. I’m very sorry to hear about your situation. I’m 20 years old and in a very similar position myself. I’m watching my family life fall apart before my eyes due to my mothers alcoholism. I feel like I have no control over my life.
I feel as though I cannot deal with it any longer. How do you stay strong?

[sianny25]

Hey, I know this a bit later reply… but I’ve recently posted about my mum.. I have the same with her too!! Im 25 now! Its like they don’t care about us, they don’t care if they lose us and its heart breaking for us… its like we cant do anything at all! and nobody offers them help until they admit it. its just comforting to know youre not the only one going through it

[cazandyx]

You are a really lovely person. .. your son is very blessed xx

[fifi65]

Hiya hun, so happy to be reading this, cause I know you’ve been through it!! So glad for you and all the family.xx My son is fine, Keeping his head down and getting on with his sentence.. love and light to all Fiona xxx

[lucys]

Happ to hear of someones success but what if an addict has been trying and failing to become clean for 26 years? My grandma has tried her best, never turned her back on him, but me his stepdaughter have been old enough to know he was an addict, and aggressive when high for 7 years and today i have had enough and i am turning my back on him. There is no helping someone who wont help themselves.

[cant-take-no-more]

Hey Fiona, so glad to hear from you…and doubly glad your son is doing as well as can be expected…God works in mysterious ways, and I truly pray he gets through his time in prison..please send him my love, and tell him to stay strong …have a peaceful Xmas dear friend, we must stay in touch…if your on facebook let me know…hugs Hunni xxxx

[icarus-trust]

Hi Rob,
This must be so difficult for you as a parent seeing your son like this. He has got to want to engage in help himself if it is to be successful but there is help for you and his mum out there. We are a charity called The Icarus Trust which was started in order to give support to people like yourselves dealing with a loved ones addiction. If you think it would help you please contact us and we would put you in touch with one of our experienced trained volunteers called Family Friends. Talking with one of these might help you to find a way forward.
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website http://www.icarustrust.org
Good luck!

[fifi65]

Hi Susie, if you e-mail me I will give you my facebook details, it would be lovely to keep in touch.. And if Sue ( Frantic mum) happens on this message the same applies to you lovely lady.. jofio@live.co.uk xxx

[cant-take-no-more]

fi, I’ve emailed you…sue (frantic mum) if you want send me your email of link to fscebook ..would be good to keep in touch xxx

[concernd]

god am new just first time on an that made me breath thanx for ur pisitivity and i hope ur son stays well my son is still iout ther but hopefully if i hold on someday il b as positive as this an god bless

[sosad]

Thank you all for your kind words. I know he was responsible for his own actions. Drugs are so terrible. The person taking them has no control after a while. They consume their lives. My son decided the only way to be free was to take his life. He didn’t overdose. He took a way that was 100 % certain he couldn’t be brought back…. He meant it. In his suicide note he said ” he couldn’t hurt us anymore”. If only he knew the hurt I’m going through. He surely didn’t realise how much I loved him. Now I will never be able to tell him again. I want him back so badly it hurts with bone in my body.

[icarus-trust]

Hi,
There is help out there! I work for a charity called Icarus Trust who supports people to deal with the impact of living with addicts. They offer a free service of a trained volunteer who would talk to you in complete confidence. These people have usually experienced living with addicts in their own lives so would understand what you are going through. They may be able to help you make sense of the mixed feelings you have.
Please contact Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website http://www.icarustrst.org
Good luck!

[icarus-trust]

Hi Millie,
I would urge you to get some help especially if you are worried about leaving your son with your partner. It sounds like you have a lot to worry about and maybe you could do with some support for yourself. I work for a charity called The Icarus Trust that supports people like yourself who are affected by the addictions of a family member or friend. if you would like to talk to one of our trained experienced volunteers please get in touch.
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website http://www.icarustrust.org
Good luck.

[fin]

It was the subject of your post that caught my attention. At times I’ve found its the hidden bottles and the lies which are what hurts, not obviously the alcohol and its effects. My wife is an alcoholic and I know exactly what you are going through as I went through months of worrying when my wife was alone with the children who are very young. I kept putting my faith in her to not drink but it constantly got broken. Keeping faith in the one you love is natural but your taking risks with the safety of your child. Act now is all I can recommend as while I didn’t leave it too late I wish I had done something sooner. You can still be there for your partner but your son must come first !

[cant-take-no-more]

Hi Gill, firstly well done to your partner for getting help…that’s such a big step for him…I may be wrong but I wonder if he lied to perhaps keep you from knowing the truth, scared he may loose you? Please don’t let the label “drug addict” define the person you love. I’m sure you feel at a loss what to say,snd no one can tell you,….hugs Hunni, it’s hard but you sound like a caring partner. There’s plenty of people here who live with addicts, or those trying to recover…..take care xxxxxx

[cazandyx]

Can’t take no more said exactly as I would have said. You fell for a man that has an addiction, don’t let his addition blur your thoughts about who he is.
Be proud of him for going to rehab and trying to break free from his addiction. He wants it as much as you do. He maybe wanted to protect you. Be proud if who he is and stay focused on his courage and strength because the journey he has embarked on is very tough and “he’s on it”… Stay positive with him, let him know he can trust you. People with addiction to heroin are labelled ‘just a dirty junkie” but that’s so far from the truth it’s wicked and unfair, they are still human beings with feelings, the addiction shouldnt determine who he is, I can assure you he lives to regret that day he first tried it, we can only be thankful we havent… Keep strong x

[sad-and-tired]

oh sweetheart, I can feel your pain in every word. I can imagine what you are going through, I would be totally the same. you would have done anything possible to help him, but maybe he felt he just couldn’t do it…….it is heartbreaking. I am sure he did know how much you loved him and he obviously loved you just as much because he didn’t want to put you through this hurt all the time. Can you not do something constructive to remember him, maybe by passing your message on you can help others and keep his memory alive. Stay strong, your son would hate to see how much hurt he has left you. xxxx

[cant-take-no-more]

Debs, massive well done…what a very brave woman you are. I hope you are getting professional help, if not just for the support….and what wonderful parents you have…take care sweet heart, and keep fighting to stay clean…one day at a time xxx

[icarus-trust]

Hi Susan
Thanks for sharing your very moving story. I can really feel the pain that you are going through trying to support both your son and your partner through their addiction. You sound an incredibly strong person but if you need to find some support for yourself please get in touch with The Icarus Trust. We are a charity that helps the friends and families of people with addictions. We could put you in touch with one of our Family Friends, experienced trained volunteers, who you could talk things through with if you think it would help.
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website http://www.icarustrust.org
Keep strong and good luck!

[icarus-trust]

Hi Debs,
Well done you! Sounds like you are doing really well with great support from your parents.
There are other people out there if you or your family need any more help and support.
I work for a charity called The Icarus Trust who provide a free service. We can signpost you to professional help or just be there to talk to you, your family or friends by putting you in touch with trained volunteers, called Family Friends. These are people who who have experienced situations like your own, who will talk to you or your family in confidence and may be able to help.
Please contact Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website http://www.icarustrst.org
Hope this helps.
Keep strong and good luck!

[icarus-trust]

Hi,
I feel really sad reading your post. You have obviously been through a terrible time. Its good to hear that you have people who love you but if you need any other help from people that would understand what you have been through please contact The Icarus Trust. We are a charity that supports the family and friends of people with addictions. if you would feel it useful, you could be put in touch with one of our Family Friends who are experienced trained volunteers. Talking to one of them might help you make sense of how you are feeling.
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website http://www.icarustrust.org
I hope things work out for you.

[helenjh]

My son is 21 in June and first went to rehab aged 15 …. reading your post brought a tear to my eye i have felt like that so many times with him too …..

Addiction is an illness – while abusing they are not the person you really know …the substance abuse changes them and that is all they can think about that is their only priority how to get their next fix

I received that late night knock on the door 3rd October 2013 at 2am my son had been run over while walking in the road … he suffered severe brain trauma, broke both his legs an arm and his neck in two places he went through 10 hours of life saving brain surgery and was in a coma for 9 weeks and against all the odds he made it and despite early opinions he can walk, talk etc has learned to do everything again ….. including substance abuse so i feel your message HOW CAN THEY KEEP DOING THIS TO US? but they dont see it as doing it to us they make a decision to abuse again usually because they can no longer fight off the urge and then they are enveloped in the whole thing again

I know if my son had been anybody else i wouldve walked away years ago but something inside me just keeps hoping one day he will sort himself out ….. before the addiction takes him for good x

[springtime]

Thank you Icarus Trust and Helenjh for your comments.
Whilst I dont feel ready or brave enough to speak with a counsellor at the Trust I know this could help me try to understand my daughters addiction. I will make that call one day…x
You are so right Helenjh that it is an illness and seeing first hand how it consumes the person is hard to watch and the cause of my despair.
So sorry to hear about your son and I admit to being shocked that after all he went through the addiction still took hold again.
I wrote this the day after I had collected my daughter from prison, hoping this was the wake up call for her to change but finding out that within 24 hrs she was using again, not sure she ever stopped.
She’s now back in prison and as much as I am angry and upset with her, that part of me deep down inside hopes that maybe this is the turning point for her and i find myself writing to her offering love and support…because she’s my daughter. ..x

[poppy123]

Springtime, I read your post and felt like I was reading what I am feeling at the moment. My 23 year old son is a drug addict, he was released from prison on Friday, I arrange for his daughter to see him over the weekend, he lasted a day and a half until he disappeared saying he was going to the shop, he came back several hours later clearly under the influence of drugs. I am now at the point in my life, after 7 years of suffering trying to help him, where I’ve had enough, I’ve cried too many tears, I’ve done everything in my power to support him to give up, but the harsh, and sad reality is, he doesn’t want to. Not for himself, not for his daughter, not for his family.

[debs]

Thanks for your kind words I tried group therapy only worked for a bit , got some one on one counselling starting soon , once you get over the physical things you definitely need to work on the mental side of things, that’s the hard part for me anyway xxx

[cazandyx]

Yay! Your amazing, stay strong and focus on what’s ahead.. you should be so proud of yourself x

[cazandyx]

And it is going to be tough but you know what,,, believe you can and you will. Um mm I know that’s easier said than done but your getting there and look at how far you’ve come. Counselling is great, they’ll become someone you can trust, the drug is a fake friend, it’s purpose is to control. Allow yr self to engage fully with the therapy, never doubt how strong you are, just by what you’ve written and your journey speaks volumes of just how amazing you are!!!

[debs]

@CazAndy thanks hun people think it’s the cold turkey that’s the worst bit but it’s not it’s over and done with within a week , yeah it sucks but I just thought of it as havin the flu real bad !!! Sounds crazy I know !!? (And you’ve gotta really wanna stop to do it this way) It’s the integrating back into society that’s the hard part. I’ve just joined the gym (I hate it) but I always feel good after because I’m doin something positive. Life is hard for everyone we’ve just gotta learn to turn to something else rather than drugs. Retain your brain :0) xxx

[cant-take-no-more]

Hi debs, my son is in recovery from alcohol and drug use….and you are so right…it’s what’s going o. In his head now, that’s the real problem…I’m thankful he is getting help from some great people..his counsellor, a psych councellor, his doctor and of course his family…every day is a struggle, but he fights for his sobriety….he is damaged, but reached out at the tight time…we had some great news yesterday…he got himself a job end of August and his boss has asked him to go for supervisors role…just the affirmation that he is valued, boosts his self esteem….you are on the right path, so keep doing what your doing….mum and dad must be soooooo proud! Hugs and love to you x

[debs]

@cant take no more – great news about ur son !!???? everyday is a struggle but with the right support it can be done, sounds like he’s got a great family it makes all the difference. Some people aren’t as fortunate and that makes me sad, without my family I couldn’t have come this far. Hope your son enjoys his new job, hopefully I’ll be back to work soon ???? hugs and love to you and your family. Keep fighting the good fight xxxx

[icarus-trust]

Hi Harrietemily

I’m sorry to read your story and wonder if you would like to talk to someone who would understand what you are dealing with. I work for a charity called The Icarus Trust that supports the families of addicts. We have experienced trained volunteers called Family Friends who you could talk to. They may be able to answer your questions and help you to find a way ahead. This is a free service.
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website http://www.icarustrust.org
I hope that you can get some help. Stay strong and keep safe!

[icarus-trust]

Hi Debs,
Really pleased that you have got such good support from your family and that you have some counselling starting. You sound really strong and will get through this.
Best of luck!

[debs]

@icarus Trust thanks means a lot ???? Hope ur well xx

[icarus-trust]

Hi Marymay,
This must be a very difficult time for you and you must be so worried about your son. If you would like to speak to one of our experienced trained volunteers please contact The Icarus Trust. We are a charity that supports the families of addicts.
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website http://www.icarustrust.org
I hope that you are able to get some help. Good luck.

[fifi65]

You stay strong hun, don’t let no demon drug or anything or anyone take up any more of your chance at a happier life,, all the very best for the future Fiona xxx

[vida15]

Hey Emily a lot of what you said has rang true to the situation I’m in, it’s awful but what I can tell you is you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped more than anything in there life. All you can do is support them and make sure you look after yourself.

[charlotteicarus]

Dear Emily

I am so sorry to hear about your mother’s struggle with addiction and the effect it is having on you and your life. I wonder if it would help you to speak to someone who has the experience of what you are going through.

I work with a charity called The Icarus Trust that was set up to support families and friends of addicts. We have experienced and trained volunteers called Family Friends who you could talk to if you wanted to. It is a free service.

If you are interested, you can contact us by email on help@icarustrust.org or you can visit our website http://www.icarustrust.org

Do make sure that you also take care of yourself.

Kind regards

Charlotte

[hope-faith]

Hi, just want to say your one strong lady and you have an amazing strong family. You should be very proud of yourself, you are living proof there is light at the end of the tunnel xxx you truly have to want it to come as far as you are. Take care

[icarus-trust]

Thank you for posting your story and the warning you have given about the dangers around the use of Nytol. It’s so good to read that after all you’ve been through you have managed to get off the drugs.
Good luck with everything!

[misslcm]

So sorry for your loss, cant imagine what you are going through! xx

[sk]

Reading your post made me cry the hurt in your words is just unimaginable. I am so sorry for your loss try and keep strong.

[cathy]

I feel for you and think your very strong to think like that ,,i lost last yr a great young man my brother ,who i ad brought up since he was 12 he was 29 ..i feel that you av helped me here just reading your post about your lovely son ,my heart gos out to you xxx

[icarus-trust]

What a very brave person you are and how strong to have been able to overcome everything that has happened to you. I can see how hard it is for you at the moment coping with your grandma being in hospital as well as everything else.
It often helps to talk to someone who may have had some shared experiences. Icarus Trust is a charity which offers experienced, trained volunteers called ‘Family Friends.’ If you contact us we could put you in touch with one of these. They would listen, understand where you are coming from, talk to you and signpost you to any other help you may want.
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website http://www.icarustrust.org
This is a free service so I really hope you might give it a try. Maybe it will give you some help and support.
Good luck. Keep strong!

[icarus-trust]

Hi Lucy
I should have explained that Icarus Trust is there to support people who have had to cope with the affects of other peoples addictions so they will know where you are coming from.
Hope this helps.

[icarus-trust]

I’m so sad to read your story. So many family members are affected by an addicts behavior. If you felt that it would help to talk I recommend getting in touch with The Icarus Trust. We are a charity that supports the friends and families of addicts, people like yourself and have experienced trained volunteers called family friends who you could talk with. It might help you to deal with all the conflicting feelings you have about your son and see a way ahead.
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website http://www.icarustrust.org
Take care and good luck!

[Author]

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