[beckie93]

My boyfriend had a cocaine addiction before I got with him due to a bad breakup years ago. He got himself in alot of debt and he sorted himself out. We now have a 3 month old baby, and when I was pregnant the sneaking out and lying started. He would say his cousin needed picking up or while I’m asleep go out and not answer his phone and come home at 6am. When we got our own place, he would come home with a .2 as he calls it, and then as were watching a film, hed say hes going to get more, an hour drive away from ours, and not come home till 3am. Once I woke up and he had gone and left his cousin in the spare room. He lies and says hes doing a surprise for me… and the next morning we would argue and he wouldnt understand my point of view, and then tell me its cause he is depressed. And cries, and tells me to help him.. but he keeps doing it. He thinks I’m stupid and that I dont know when he has taken it. His jaw moves and he talks different.

I love him so much and just cant leave. We have a son.

[helenl]

Just think about your baby! That’s all I can say. You have a choice your baby has not …think about it and his future

[zesty]

hey beckie,

im in a similar situation – my boyfriend used to be addicted to cocaine and had got himself in a lot of debt because of it, he became clean before we got together and i really helped him start to pay back his debts and helped him out with money etc. After a few months of dating. we ended up doing coke together and have done it together just us two between 5-7 times since then, the drug is dangerous.

I never used to understand why my boyfriend would gamble all of his money away and constantly get more coke so he wouldnt be able to sleep and eat for days on end; but even after only trying it a few times ive been able to understand what it does to you. when you’re high you become eratic and the only thing you can think about is fulfilling your needs and being destructive – you basically say ‘f*** it’ to the rest of the world. sometimes we’d get a little bit for a party or something the next day and id wake up in the morning and he’s wide awake just saying that he couldnt sleep, but obviously when i look the coke has all been used. its a disgusting drug that makes you lie and do things that arent you.

before me and my boyfriend were together, he didnt have many people there for him and was suffering from mental health issues which caused him to basically get into the toxic cycle of doing gear, gambling all of his money away and chatting to girls and exchanging naked photos and dirty chats online. the drug is so fucked up that as soon as you touch it you just want to get into that toxic circle again, which i found out my boyfriend did a few nights ago.

we went on a long chat about it (when he was sober and thinking straight) and said i basically wanted to kick him out and break up with him unless he proves to me that he loves me and that arsehole who does coke, gambles and cheats on his girlfriend wont come back again. he was so upset and crying and immediately deleted all dealers numbers off of his phone, blocked gambling websites, etc. because he wants to make it work with me. ive basically given him a trial period for the next few weeks for him to prove to me that he’s going to put the effort in – and im going to see if i can be with him without thinking about the text messages and all of the other things that happened. if your partner has a good heart and truly cares about you they will eventually realise and make the maximum effort to stop hurting you. addicts usually need a wakeup call for them to understand what they need to do – if you could wait until he’s sober then tell him how you feel and leave the house with your son for a few days (stay at a family members or something) this should be the calling thst he needs – how he acts from that will tell you exactly what you need to know about whether you should be with him or not. best of luck and always here to talk!

[Author]

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