[paw_x]

Hi Louise,

Sorry you’re going through this. I hear you. My partner also relapsed after 3 years of sobriety, right when we were buying our new home to start our family.

You’re allowed to be angry and you’re allowed to ask questions. A lot of anger though won’t help him if he is trying to recover from this – for that reason I had to have my partner move out as having him here all the time wasn’t good for him or me.

You didn’t cause what happened and you can’t control it or stop it. Only he can, and he needs to do all he can, it’s not your responsibility. This isn’t your fight. There are CA meetings on every day for him to get help from people going through the same thing. Letting go of that feeling that I have to help my partner, and go through this with him, was the best thing I did for me, as he needed to fight this for himself and I can’t put my everything into something I have zero control over. If I can tell you anything it’s to look after yourself, think about what you want from life, and to try and find your own peace in all this.

Him mentioning you moving on is probably the addiction telling him “you can keep doing this, you’ll lose her anyway”. It’s a way of justifying what he’s doing, why bother stopping. I hope he gets himself to meetings and makes a go at recovery, but you take care of yourself and don’t forget that you matter too. These forums really helped me feel less alone too as it’s one of those things nobody understands until they’ve been through it x

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