[nsimoson]

My boyfriend is addicted to cocaine. We have been together for about four years now with a six month break. He lived with me at my parents house for 2 out of the four years and as far as I know he didn’t use drugs. My dad is very anti drugs and would have kicked him out if he found out my boyfriend was taking drugs in the house. After a row with my parents my boyfriend and I moved to his mams house. This is when everything started. He started talking to one of his old friends who sells cocaine. He started going out on a weekend, leaving me alone at his mums house and coming in during the early hours. After a couple of weeks of this his behaviour changed drastically and he avoided spending time with me at all costs. He would leave the house at 8:00am and return between 3:00 am and 4:00am everyday. I suspected he was using cocaine because he wasn’t sleeping or eating and lost alot of weight. He of course denied it. This went on for about three months until I he returned one day and we had an argument. Things got very aggressive and he refused to give me my car keys so I could leave. I eventually got my keys and drove away so I could change all of my social media details and change my number. I was sick of being treated like crap and decided I was done with the relationship. I didn’t hear from him for about 6 weeks and then the constant messaging started. He came to my house under the influence and was very apologetic and upset. I ignored the messaging and attempts at communication for 6 months. Mainly due to my parents reminding me of how he treated me previously. After six months I decided to get back with him. I told him that the conditions of getting back together were he couldn’t talk to the lad he was buying drugs from last time and no more cocaine. For the first three months everything was fine, he made up with my parents and treated me great. Thoughtful gifts and spending lots of quality time together. He then started going out with this man he met when we weren’t together on a Friday night. He moved back into my mams house but would sleep at his mams house on the weekend. His behaviour changed again, he was snappy and irritated all of the time and would turn his phone off on Friday night and leave it off til Saturday afternoon. This then escalated to him causing an argument on purpose on either Wednesday or Thursday night, not hearing from him til Sunday night or Monday morning when he would be full of apologies. My parents could tell that something was wrong and decided to ask him to move out. He broke down and told me he was spending around £150 a day on cocaine and he wanted to get clean and knew he had a problem. After moving back to his mams things improved. We didn’t speak as much because we both work but the conversation was more meaningful and on a weekend he would pay for us to stay in hotels and do things we both enjoyed with his wages. He seemed a lot better in hisself and it allowed me to take a step back and focus on my work and my university course. He decided he didn’t want to live in his mums house anymore and got a flat for us both to live in. I said yes because I believed he was doing better and wasn’t taking drugs anymore because he had money after he had been paid. We have been living in the flat together for about eight weeks now. He is using cocaine again. He lies about how much money he gets from work and never seems to have any. This leaves me paying all of the bills. He turns his phone off after 4;30 (when he would usually finish work) and comes home whenever he pleases. He constantly makes mess and refuses to clean up after himself and just doesn’t want to spend time with me which leaves me alone in the flat for most of the week. He has told me he wants to get clean but won’t tell me the truth about his drug use (where he’s getting it from, how much he’s spending, how often he’s using). His dishonesty is making me think he doesn’t want to get clean and wants to keep using in the future. We have a puppy together and no kids. His drug use makes me question whether I want to spend my future with him. I love him a lot when he’s sober but I’m not prepared to spend my life with an addict.

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