[cc1291]

I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost 8 months now. When we first starting talking he disclosed that in the past he had some issues with drugs but was clean and had been for a bit. I never judged him for his past or brought it up. About a month ago, he moved in with me and my children and I started to notice some things. I found needle-less syringes and when I asked about them, he of course had an explanation and I believed him. I caught him in a couple of lies (or missing details, which I consider lies), which caused me to raise my guard a bit. One night, he asked me if I wanted to share a red-bull because it was getting late and he didn’t want to drink the whole thing and the caffeine cause any issues with sleeping, even though he doesn’t sleep much anyhow. I said sure, caffeine doesn’t effect me at all so didn’t see an issue with it. Later that night, I started to feel high and out of character. I had a burst of energy, could not fall asleep, increased libido and was profusely sweating to the point that my clothing was soaking wet. I jokingly asked him if he had drugged me or something and he said no. The next day, I still felt off, so I took a sip of the Red Bull because it didn’t get finished the night before and realized that it tasted funny. I took my kids to where they needed to be for the day and went to work and started to feel high again. I told him that I still felt high and wasn’t sure what was going on. I asked him again if he had given me anything and didn’t tell me and he said no again. So I took a urine drug test at work, which came back positive for Meth. When we got home that evening, I confronted him and asked him again what he had given me and he said nothing. I told him about the drug test and he played it off and said that it could’ve just been false positive. Which I knew wasn’t true. So, the next day I found a small glass container in his book bag, and took the Red Bull can( which he had emptied, crushed up and threw in the trash) and I did surface tests, which came back positive for Meth. I didn’t say anything else to him about this, I was previously in an abusive marriage and so confrontation sometimes frightens me. He travels for work every now and then, so this past Sunday I walked into the bathroom and his toiletry bag was on the counter and was open and sticking out was another small glass container, this time with liquid and crystals. So I told him that I needed to have a difficult conversation with him, I asked him what it was. He said he was embarrassed to say it outloud but eventually disclosed that it was crystal meth. He told me he uses every single day, and had been for about 3.5 years but he measures it out so that he isn’t extremely high, but just high enough to have energy for the day and be able to focus. He told me how he administers it. I asked if he had more in the house and he showed me where it was and talked about how the person he buys from is moving and had asked him if he needed more and he had told him no because he was going to try and start weaning himself off of it. He said he had enough left to last him about 2-3 more weeks. We discussed and he agreed that him doing it is definitely an issue. We talked about how when he stops it has to be planned just right because withdrawal will cause him to sleep a lot and he doesn’t want to lose his job. I asked him if he did in fact put meth into the drink that he asked me to share with him and he admitted that he did. I explained to him that I have never taken drugs and especially not Meth and that what he did was dangerous and by not telling me stripped my right to say, “No, I don’t want to participate in that.” He agreed and said it is the stupidest thing he has ever done.

He is incredibly high functioning. He has a job, just started an LLC, has a nice car, has money in his bank accounts, has never been violent towards me or even raised his voice at me, treats my kids as his own and makes sure that we are good. But because he is high functioning, I feel like him wanting to stop is going to be harder. Because he isn’t seeing any detrimental effects of his usage so he may think he is okay and it isn’t necessary for him to be clean.

But I am not okay with him using. Every time he goes to the bathroom, I feel nauseous because I know what he is doing in there. I am worried, and don’t know how to support him without enabling. I am scared to keep bringing it up because I don’t want to come off as nagging him and cause stress that pushes him even further in. Does anyone have any experience with high-functioning addicts or any advice?

[debc]

Hi CC1291,

Welcome to the Forum, where I hope you get answers to your questions.

I have replied because I think what he done to you is outrageous, people have choices and you didn’t choose to have the red bull drink which he had added a substance too. I would be very worried about him doing that.

Take care.

Dx

[Author]

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