[amy1]

Hello everyone,

I’m clutching at straws here..

My boyfriend has a cocaine addiction and I feel so lost, I don’t know what to do anymore.

We’ve been together 2 years and he moved in with me 6 months ago and we bought a puppy, I’d never been so happy and content with life! At this point I had no idea about the coke…

1 month after him living with me I realised he was using cocaine a lot.(2-3 times a week) I asked him why and he just said it relaxes him and chills him out. I let it slide and didn’t say anymore.

For the last 3 or so months he has been doing 2-3 tickets (at least as he tries to hide it from me but I’m not stupid!!) and normally 6-12 beers along with it every other night, sometimes even 2/3 days in a row. He’s been calling in sick to work after a night on it and then spending all day at home on it – whilst I go to work on the little sleep I managed to get as he keeps me up when he’s on it. He has lost 2 jobs in the last 6 months because of this.

He has also got himself in to a lot of debt, which I stupidly helped him out of when he promised me he’d stop doing coke.

I am really struggling with his behaviour when he is on it, he is immensely paranoid ( to the point he is checking the front door every 2-3 minutes and constantly accusing me of calling the police on him). The words he says to me are vile, he can be so horrible, and we have some horrendous arguments. I’m not innocent in all this, I do struggle to keep my cool, I just get so frustrated like why is he picking coke over a nice evening with his girlfriend all the time?!

When he is not on it, he’s the perfect boyfriend. I have had countless conversations with him about this and I feel like we are getting nowhere.

I have begged him to reach out for help and he always says he will do it tomorrow and never does.

I love him and he says he loves me but I am just so lost. I feel worthless that coke is clearly so much better than me..

I have told him countless times how much I love him and I will be there for him and support him and we can get through it together etc – I’m a smoker which he hates and I have also told him if he stops the coke I will pack up the cigarettes!!

I’m just looking for some advise or anyone with a similar story please? I’m open to any suggestions at this point!!

Thank you????x

[ava123]

Hello,

I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. I am going through the exact same with my brother who is not willing to follow through with any help or stick to anything. My brother is in a lot o debt too which we have been paying and now drug dealers are threatening us. My advice would be run he won’t change anytime soon I know you love him but you need to put yourself first and shouldn’t let someone treat you like that. Unless he is willing to get help then there’s no point in you being there for him and ruining your own life as it will only get worse as cocaine is the devil. This is the harsh reality 🙁 we’ve been living this nightmare for almost two years and are no further forward xx

[amy1]

Hi,

Thank you for responding!! I’m sorry you’re going through the same with your brother, it’s so hard, I just wish they could see how much we care and what it’s doing to us and how much it’s ruining them!????

I know I should run and that’s what I keep telling myself to do, and I know that if one of my friends was relaying this to me i’d be telling them to run too!! I just can’t bring myself to do it.

I’m so so desperate for him to just try and cut back/reach out for help, anything!!

I know I’m living in a dream world thinking it’s going to get better, I just wish I had a magic wand or something ????xx

[bluestar]

Hi Amy1 – sorry to hear what you’re going through. My partner of 6 years recently broke up with me – I think it’s over cocaine though he would just keep saying that he loves me but he can’t be a partner right now and he doesn’t know what he wants. But when we were together, I remember asking myself the same thing (and sometimes asking him) – why would he want to spend all night gaming with his friends and not come home (and have to sleep almost the whole day the next day so there goes our weekend), instead of spending a nice evening with me. I then learned that all those long gaming nights involve using cocaine. It probably started off recreationally like that and then ended up being way worse now. It’s horrible, and until today, I still can’t really accept that our relationship ended this way. Just wanted to share my own story, hopefully that helps you feel that you’re not alone. Sorry I don’t have a solution or advice for you (I too wish I have a magic wand), but this forum has given me much comfort, and I hope you find some here too.

Take care XX

[Author]

Posts