[staceyleigh]

hello im looking for some advice from someone that has maybe been through the same thing im going through now, when i met my partner he had been on mkat for nearly 3 years and he was taking it everyday and didnt see a future without the drug in his life, anyway has our relationship continued he tried not to take it infront of me because he knew i was against it, i got caught on with twins really early on in our relationship and when he found out he tried his bloody hardest to stop taking the drug and i was very proud of him and tbh i still am has it couldnt have been easy for him because his friends continued to take the drug around him, sadly i lost the babies and he didnt really show any emotion infront of me because he was keeping things together for me, has time passed my partner had started taking the drug again and now hes stopped taking it hes having mood swings he snaps and shouts at me for the smallest things and he just isnt his self hes loosing weight he looks really skinny he dosent seem to want to cuddle or kiss me has much and hes pushing me away, its breaking my heart i really dont know what to do it scares me that hes turned out this way im scared of loosing him through the drug. when i first met him i had just got my ex partner sent to jail for 5 years because he brayed me and broke into my nans house and attacked her going through that really messed me up and my partner now understands that has i open up to him about it, he dont know the guy that did this to me but he hates him for what hes done, my partner would never touch a girl in the way that my ex did me, but just lately we have had a few incidents where hes pushed me not knowing his own strength and knocked me over the sofa this is whats scaring me because i love him so much and before getting back on the drugs he would have never laid a finger on me and would kill anyone who did, im just scared because where does it go from here? i want to be here for him because i love him so much and he asks me not to give up on him but its making me so stressed its untrue, me and him splitting isnt an option for me but this is proving to be very difficult on me so i dread to think whats hes going through 🙁 its absolutley heartbreaking seeing him how he is and knowing i cant help him i feel useless and out of control. can someone please help me?

[cant-take-no-more]

IF you cant live without him then you are going along for the ride……UNTIL he wants to get help im afraid the walking on egg shells will be a daily routine…..Its hard hun,MCAT is so addictive, its disgusting and far too cheap……people change beyond all recognition, and take you down with them….I really hope he wakes up and smells the coffee, but until he wants to stop its a waiting game….be patient, encourage him to seek help but dont let him hurt you along the way…..big hugs xxx

[staceyleigh]

hiya thankq for your reply means a lot it really does 🙂 ive felt like im going insane not having anyone to talk to so seeing some one had commented was the highlight of my whole day so thankq for that :)… im trying to be patient with him but he dosent understand why i get so upset and with him snapping at me all the time i react and then he gets worse with me 🙁 he just isnt the same anymore hes confusing me hes changed towards me so much its almost like hes trying to push me away and im hanging on with everything i have and he dont seem to care 🙁 i cried other day to him and he just didnt show any emotion what so ever i feel like im fighting a loosing battle and it hurts me.. hes really distant with me lately he used to always cuddle and kiss me and now even doing that seems like a challenge for him hes not stopped telling me he loves me its just when i ask him for a kiss he gives me one but at the same time acts like he dosent want to 🙁 i seriously am starting to believe that all this is my fault, the other morning we woke up and he said that he wanted his space and wanted me to go and stay with my parents and when i went to go he said that he didnt want me to go and now when hes being funny i ask are you wanting space and he replys will you stop asking me f*****g questions and he gets really angry with me i love him so much but im starting to think he dont feel the same, do i go and give him his space? im just scared if i do hell do something that will make me regret going im so confused 🙂 xxxx

[concerned-mum]

Hi…Im sorry if this sounds harsh but unless he is prepared to get help stay the hell away from him…MCAT is nasty nasty stuff my son has gone from being a loving affectionate lad …would still hug me in front of his mates in his early teens to someone who can be extremely aggressive to me and im his mum and anyone that ticks him off….He wont know what he wants apart from the next amount of money to buy it….Sorry but this aint gonna get better…take care of you and your life dont get dragged down with it he will make you ill xxx

[staceyleigh]

hi 🙂 nope dosent sound harsh at all i totally understand where you are coming from i mean its clear that you have seen what that disgusting stuff can do to someone and your just advising me so thank you so much for your advice 🙂 its weird how much better i feel actually talking to someone who understands where im coming from ive felt like im going insane not being able to talk to anyone about it and ive felt so alone 🙁 its honestly tearing my heart apart because when i first met him he was so loving and besotted in me and that stuff has just totally changed him into someone i feel i dont know :/ he has stopped taking mkat and says hes going to stay clear of it wetha he does or not is a totally different story but i suppose i have to give him a chance to prove his self ? i mean yesterday i was so proud we saw one of his mates that was talking about the drug and my partner turned round and said ‘ im done with it me ‘ made me smile because i never thort id hear that 🙂 & he is trying i mean he woke me up this morning by stroking my nose and then wrapping his arms around me and when i opened my eyes he looked at me and kissed me which thats something he used to do before he got back on the drug, he also made a comment last night saying the worst thing about coming off the drug is that he cant seem to be interested or show any interest in anything else but he believes that will pass, so now i need to decide do i hang on a lil longer and wait it out to see if he continues to get better or do i just give up? xxxxx

[cant-take-no-more]

The man you met isnt the man you are with now…mcat changes people beyond all recognition….Its a vile drug that strips away every part of the person we once knew…….He needs expert help now to support him, saying it and doing it are 2 very different things…my son is getting help as we speak, but I know that its a very hard thing to do and I know he may slip up, and I know he could be addicted for ever more…..one day at a time, but stay strong x

[staceyleigh]

yes i agree with everything you have just said in your comment its true he isnt the person i fell in love with and i am beginning to think i dont even kn ow him at all, hes deluded he thinks he can do it on his own and now hes decided that he wants to stop smoking too which is probs going to make things a whole lot worse has hes trying to get rid of 2 addictions at once… hes seeking help to stop smoking but wont seek help to stop the drugs which really only tells me one thing maybe he does want to stop smoking but the drugs i dont think he does because why wont he seek help for that? and thats great news about your son im glad hes actually doing something to help his self. he must be very strong minded and willing to do it, congratulations to your son because it takes a good strong person to actually take that step and seek help 🙂 i wish you and your son all the best for the future and fingers crossed he wont let this vile drug take control 🙂 x

[staceyleigh]

sorry about the comment coming up twice i dont know what happened there xx

[cant-take-no-more]

Hows things going Stacey???? hope you are ok, and taking care of yourself xxx

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