[hayley]

I have been with my boyfriend since I was 14, we’ve been together for just over two years now. When we started dating I was aware he was regularly smoking cannabis but I was never really bothered about it. We had a healthy relationship and did keep his cannabis use under control, mainly smoking on weekends. About a year into our relationship he was chucked out his house. He began living with in a flat with a 25 year old alcoholic! My boyfriends only 19… It became apparent to me that they were taking alot of drugs in the flat. He would go weeks without speaking to me. This phase lasted a long time, and I found it very hard to deal with as my grandfather had just died and my dad left my mum and I. I also have Bulimia and anxiety problems which made it even worse.
I eventually found out the drugs he was taking AND selling. Cannabis, MDMA, Mcat and Valium. I was so distraught. His whole attitude changed. He never spoke to me and it took him a whole month to eventually see me after beginning to sell and take more regularly. It was a horrible sight. He was down to 7 stone and was wearing away to nothing. I’d never seen him like that. As the months went on, he was getting worse.
Eventually, the police found out and he was put on bail. But this didn’t stop him. He started to sell again and moved out of his parents house for the second time. By now I was emotionally drained, but I still remained to have a tiny bit of hope.
After 8 months, he finally said enough was enough. He came off the drugs and has been clean for almost 6! His appearance was looking much better and everything just started to go right for once. He had his court case just a week or so ago for the previous charges of selling and possession of drugs. It was very close but he got off with just community service. Everybody was over the moon and we promised that this was a fresh start.
Lately he’s been acting up again though, he’s smoking cannabis again on a daily basis and I’m just so scared incase it all happens again. He tells me I’m just paranoid and overreacting but I can’t help but let my mind wonder. I love him and I don’t want to leave him but I find it increasingly hard to keep everything under control. Especially with the problems I have myself. He’s always been very good to me and supportive despite everything and I am lucky to have him. I want to be there for him whenever he needs me but I don’t think I could go through this a second time. It’s draining me! I really need help.

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