[lse]

My partners relapsed on crack and heroin for the past 10 ish months at first it was really bad and he was asking for help he asked me to trust him and I did but it was pointless because he just went a did it again and again to the point I put my foot down and said to his if he wants to make this work and get better I want a tracker on his phone as he goes to his dads when he has a relapse I rarely ever look at it I only check it when he has vanished for hours and I haven’t been able to get in touch with him and rarely ever goes there for any other reason but he just started turning his location off he swore blind his not relapsing and that he just thinks of me and my son and it stops him but last night I found a text from a dealer from a few days ago and when I looked on his call list he had called him threw out the day when he told me he was going to some music thing in town that his friends were putting on he tried to make out I was going mad 8 weeks ago was our anniversary and he decided to go off to his dads the night before to smoke and then didn’t come home so I had to go collect him like I’m his mom I’ve told him today that he needs to do things my way from now on which means leave the tracker on and if it gets turned off I’ll be going to his dads and if his there I will be packing my bags and leaving and I want him to take at home drug tests once a week till I feel like I can trust him but he keeps saying that I’m taking things to far and it’s not right what I’m doing but when we got together he told me never to let him slip back into that old life as a ex drug user my self I know how hard it can be and how much I wish someone had done the things I’m doing now for my partner for me when I was using an I taking it to far am I been controlling? Am I taking things to far? I couldn’t care less what he does during his day who he goes out with where he goes I just don’t want him to fall back into that hole again I don’t track him 24/7 I don’t follow him around I only use the app when he isn’t replying and has been gone for hrs with no reason

[fayzey]

Hi Lse, just wanted to respond and say I totally know how you feel and have been in your situation. It’s so difficult and it makes me feel anxious even thinking back now….we had the find my phone thing on and I didn’t look until things started to happen that didn’t add up and then sure enough he kept not being where he said he was and then I worked out he was relapsing. My heart sank it’s the worst feeling isn’t it. I don’t know if you live together but I asked him to leave eventually and then maybe a month after that I turned the tracker thing off as he was then getting really paranoid on the crack and checking up on me all the time at work. Have to say I feel much better now it’s not on and I used to do his banking as well (he’s blocked me now) so it was like seeing it all happening with the money going out and then trips to pick up. Now I don’t know what he’s doing but I feel much less anxious, it made me feel ill – so I guess from my experience I would say trust your instincts, you don’t need a tracker to know when he’s doing drugs and lying to you. I did the testing too but he found a way to get round it and then I was secretly testing and they were all positive – I was going mad like a crazy detective woman and he was finding more and more inventive ways to lie, he deleted all call logs and texts but I saw a text as it came through when I was next to his phone saying fancy a smoke. Its understandable you want to help him, I was the same, but short of locking them in a room indefinitely it’s impossible to stop them and it will totally drain you trying to, it has to come from them, easier said than done when you love and care for someone though. Well done to you for getting away from the drugs yourself (think you said you used to be on them?) -How did you manage to stop? Make sure you look after yourself and don’t get dragged into it all x

[Author]

Posts