[charly1]

I was in a 10 year relationship with my ex partner and our relationship broke down following the birth of our son when I discovered he had a cocaine addiction. I spent 12 months trying to encourage him to seek support, which he refused, I eventually gave him an ultimatum to either get help or move out. He chose to move out. His addiction seems to have worsened since he moved out, he has been sofa surfing for 2 years so he now has no financial responsibilities such as rent or bills etc so pretty much all of his earnings go on drugs. I have been trying to keep things amicable for our child’s sake and have not stopped him having contact with our child. I have tried to put conditions in place around contact such as at home drug testing, he would come to our home to see our child as he doesn’t have his own place.(we still have a joint mortgage but he no longer contributes financially). I found out he was using cocaine while our child was in his care, he has turned up to see our child while under the influence of cocaine and on another occasion he also left a bag of cocaine lying around so I have had to stop him from coming to the house. I have tried to deal with it all very informally up until this point as I wanted to avoid having to go through the courts but I really don’t know what to for the best. I don’t want to stop my child from seeing his dad so I have tried to arrange supervised visits at his grandparents house. I have been very clear about my expectations that he doesn’t take our child out any where alone as I don’t trust him not to take drugs while my child is in his care, but I have found out that his parents have let him take him to the park alone on more than one occasion. I just don’t know what to do anymore I really don’t want to stop contact but feel like I am running out of options. I have begged and pleaded with him to sort himself out for our child’s sake but it just makes him more hostile and angry towards me. Anyone have similar experiences or advice?

[icarus-trust]

Thanks for sharing your story.

I can see how worrying this situation with your ex partner’s cocaine use and the impact it’s having on you and your child.

If you would like some support for yourself and to be able to talk to someone who would understand and may be help you to make some decisions about what to do please contact us at Icarus Trust.

We are a charity that supports the families around people with addictions. We have trained and experienced people that we call Family Friends who, if you get in touch would listen, understand and help you to find out what other support is available to you.

You can contact Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website http://www.icarustrust.org

All the best to you.

[Author]

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