[danman83]

Soo.. till last october i was using once a month. Then i left my gf.. which was a big mistake.. then for 3 month i was using once a week. And now we are back together as i missed her and made a big mistake, but ive been using still once a month. Its been manic since i left and came back. Ive just had enough now. Im going to the drug place today were i live called achieve, and i just want this over with.. im so glad this site is back on with chat. It helped me so much last time 🙂

[daisy12]

What made you break up? Did it send you into a spiral of using weekly?

It must be so hard to fight an addiction. Wish you all the best. Your taking the first steps and realising what you’ve done and still doing!

[danman83]

Gods honest truth.. i dont know if you know anything about coke and how it works. But it causes arguments and your brain plans ahead in getting it and sets you for a trap, and i think deep down i wanted to split up so i could go out more and have it.. thats the best i can explain it. I could be wrong. We was arguing alot aswell. But i have 3 kids and been together 11 years.

Were back together now. And im decorating again to keep busy. And thanks

[danman83]

And yes.. it sent me spiralling out of control.its a dangerous drug

[daisy12]

Ah Dan, I do I used to recreationally in younger days but since kids I don’t. I was never what I assume some people are as addicted.

Must be so hard for you. I guess the situation I’m in is similar no kids but used to be a pattern every few weeks Disappearing rowing. And now it’s weekly rows more arguments and ending relationship. I have my suspicions that’s the route course but I can’t be sure. It’s heart breaking cause I love him but it hurts me knowing he’s struggling if that makes sense. But if I suggest anything it’s more rows.

[daisy12]

Your addressing it and you should be proud. I guess part of recovery it relapsing! But your strong to keep trying. I’m glad your back with misses and kids cause they obviously adore you.

[daisy12]

Is there anything I can do or tough love stance? I’ve tried being empathetic, patient, loving caring and just feel whatever I do is wrong and thrown back in my face. I try not to take things to heart but it does take a toll on you having to see someone self destruct.

I think it’s got worse and maybe that’s why all the rowing? Drinking does that lead to it?

[danman83]

The best way to approach him is talk, and suggest help if he needs it i guess.. one thing i hate, is when my misses keeps going on at me. When ive had it. But shes had it with me aswell. But shes right at the end of the day.

Cocaine is a very slippery and crafty drug. I wish i never looked at the stuff!! You go in every pub and some one is using it.

And thanks for your kind words.

[daisy12]

I’ve suggested help. I’ve not harped on about it but pointed out it’s getting worse or I feel it is. He says he has issues doesn’t everyone. And that’s it.

Stops drinking for a few days and then drinks rows happen around weekends so I guess that’s when no work or recreational time.

I just don’t know feel helpless and he said yesterday he more or less done. Which is heart breaking..

[daisy12]

Seems like you know and researched and guess it takes ahold of some people. It’s awful and I totally get it. Just think if it’s having a bad effect on life and come downs are horrendous why does it want to make you do more… I guess that’s the bit I don’t get. It can’t be enjoyable.

But your doing the right thing. Building your life again with family unit as family and relationships are key I guess.

I just feel maybe he doesn’t care or love me and that’s why he’s finally pushed me away for good.

[danman83]

Cocaine makes you suicidal on a comedown. Its awful and you can feel like this for days. I just think you need sit down and talk amacably. ( think ive spelt that wrong lol)

[hox-26]

Hi Danman, long time no see. Looks like you have been through it since last time we were on here. Concentrate on that decorating and have you given up the gym and reading?

I’ve had to re register as it didn’t like my name without a number.

[danman83]

Hey hox.. good to hear from you.. ive booked all week off and ive been getting up at 4am decorating all this week.

Gyms been hit and miss.. same with the reading but ive been tired at night time because i work nights. But im gonna start again next week. I have a meeting at my drug help place soon. I went down yesturday. And im feeling a lot better.

I split up with my gf last oct. But im back with her now. and i just got into a really shitty situation. But im doing my best again now.

Hows everything at your end?

[hox-26]

Glad you are back with gf, buckle down and get yourself back on track. You know how to do it.

No change here. ‘husband’ as been inside for eleven months now so hopefully he cannot get hold of the coke in there. Then again you can get anything in there if you pay the price.

I’m still suffering with anxiety and paranoia but the sertraline has been my saviour. I’ve been discharged from CBT because they couldn’t really do anything for me as it is an ongoing situation I’m in. I have to get through this nightmare alone. I’m much stronger now though than I was before.

[danman83]

Well thats good to hear. Tbh seratline is helping me alot.. have u been to see your husband?

[hox-26]

Only once when he got sent down, he calls when he wants something but it’s very rare unless he is desperate. He hasn’t changed, he’s not the person I knew and loved. He is emotionless unless it is something that he needs. Cocaine has ruined him.

[danman83]

Thats normally the case.. being used for something. Hopefully he gets sorted in there and come out how he use to be.

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