[billy93]

I’m not sure if this is the right place but I just need to speak to someone. . Alcohol has never been an issue in my family until about 11/12 years ago. My parents own a company and were screwed over by a client resulting in them losing a lot of money. Since then slowly but surely my dad has hit the drink.

He didn’t have a good childhood and has lots of childhood and adulthood trauma he hasn’t dealt with.

He acts as if he is okay when we all know he isn’t. A lot of things have gone wrong over the years and times have been hard. But I struggle so much because I look at him and he just isn’t the same man anymore. He was best friend and now every night after 7pm when he starts you can’t talk to him, I don’t recognise him and he doesn’t remember what you talk about the next day anyways. He doesn’t drink all day, he goes about his day normal but then it is excessive at night times. And because he doesn’t deal with his issues he gets argumentative. It breaks my heart and I just want my dad back. I feel I can’t talk to my friends because they don’t understand and I feel they will only judge me.

It’s just so hard to live with. It breaks my heart. He knows how I feel myself and my mum have told him plenty of times he is in denial and doesn’t think he has a problem( I think he does know he is just stubborn and doesn’t want us to be right) ????

[srm21]

Hey Billy

I dont have much advice for you as I am in the same position (except the person with me is my husband). But just reaching out to say you’re not alone, your feelings are valid, and I hope there is light at the end of the tunnel for you. Im sure your dad doesn’t know how upset this is making you, or else maybe he just can’t see the issue himself or he enjoys the feeling he gets when he drinks and doesn’t see the impact its having on you. Either way its crap and I’m sorry. Hopefully someone will have some good suggestions (for us both) on how best to cope in this situation. X

[js94]

Hello,

Experiencing the same. Personally was shielded from the majority of things from my mum so I wouldn’t see him or talk to him when he was in a state AS MUCH as I would have. While your dad’s addiction seems stemmed from anxiety, and potentially by having non alcoholic beverages at home it could be a start…personally I’m going to speak to my mum about this as think its one way of helping the situation and then by using an app on his phone.

I tried to get my dad into a new hobby but it didn’t work, so trying to see at what FITNESS changes can be done because he might start to feel better about himself and then alone after feeling good…make choices without being pushed.

His family don’t help and just say ‘my poor son, my poor brother’ but I partially blame them for a lack of action and depending on bloody prayers. With no disrespect to religious individuals its just something like this needs action, planning, communication.

[jess27]

Hey Billy,

I am not the best at giving advice, but I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in how you feel and what your going through.

My dad has been drinking ever since I can remember and it’s really tough because although my dad is here, it feels like I have lost him to the alcohol. So I completely understand when you say that you just want your dad back. I have always felt like alcohol is my dads main priority and it’s the thing he thinks about as soon as he wakes up, until the minute he goes to bed. It truly feels like he chooses the alcohol over me. But the thing is (like you said), if I were to tell him how I feel he wouldn’t even remember the next day anyway which just leaves me feeling hopeless. It’s just so sad because he doesn’t see the effect that the alcohol is having on the people around him. For me, I think that’s what hurts the most, because he is either choosing to ignore the damage he is causing to the people around him or is just completely oblivious and in his own world (because of the alcohol).

It’s just such a hard topic to talk about as it seems like no one will ever understand.

[anna-mason]

IOP stands for Intensive Outpatient Programme. This is a intermediate level of treatment for substance abuse. You might begin your journey in detox or residential. Or, you could go on to an intensive, outpatient program. IOP’s typically meet three to four times per week. This will include individual and group therapy.

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