My decision to part from my son

  • This topic has 3 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 6 months ago by leo.
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    • #36175
      Goodtime7
      Participant

      Five months ago I woke up to the fact that my son has a choice in the lifestyle he leads.Heartbroken I made the decision that to keep my sanity, I could not have my (32 year old) son in my life for now, he has broken me, drove me to a point whereby I simply did not function.
      This has come after 12 years of trying to help him, while he abused me, I continued paying off debts, paying for rehab, paying for his counselling, me reading books, me attending support groups, anything everything in the hope that he would stop taking cocaine. It’s been painfully hard decision to part from him, and sometimes I feel selfish that I have had to abandoned him, but for now it’s what is needed, without me enabling him he might, just might change. I am having counselling and am starting to pick up the threads of my life, and honestly it feels like a huge burden has been lifted, not being chased for money. I love him but realise I can’t cure him, wish I had done this years ago perhaps he would not have become so entrenched in the drug culture if I had.

       

       

       

       

       

    • #36292
      roxi
      Participant

      Goodtime you did the right thing! You have done the best for him along 12 years!

      It’s painful i know but you have to save yourself from a bad situation…only your son can save himself!

      I’m really hope that you can find some peace in your life

      A big hug

    • #37914
      EllieMae12
      Participant

      You have made a very brave choice.  When it’s a son or a daughter it’s the hardest thing to do no matter what their age, they are still our children.  However, you have done everything you could do for 12 years and need to try and look after yourself.  Please update us at some point and tell us what the situation is like now.

    • #37931
      leo
      Participant

      You did the right thing, hopefully it will help him in the long run. I think you have been very brave and very wise,why let the alcohol ruin 2 lives? You have done all you can, it’s up to him now, the help is out there for him when he’s ready.  It won’t be easy, he won’t like it or enjoy the process but he does have a choice. You have made it very clear to him with your decision and refused to enable his addiction any more. I hope you find some peace and happiness. I am nearing the same decision myself with my 32 year old son, not quite there yet but for his future and my sanity it may have to happen. Take care

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