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If I could turn back time I would, if I was standing on the outside looking in I’d be shouting run but iv not run and I’m still here…. My story is probably no different to the story’s I read on here. My husband is additive to Cocaine. I meet my husband when I was 17. I’ve never touched a drug in my life still haven’t to this day. He was 17 as well living on his own. I never Realised he had a drug problem, I never saw him do drugs never been around people that did so I never saw the signs until it was to late… it was bad, he would go missing for days, hide in cupboards, spend days in woods just doing coke after coke after coke… I stuck by him wanting to help him believing I could. My parents couldn’t believe what I was doing told me to run I was to young but I didn’t…. And then after all that his just stopped 2 years later no help no rehab he just stopped….. fast forward 9 years, married, child and back we go… 3 years ago he started using again… crashes are car , spending £700-£900 a month on cocaine. Missing work, not turning up to anything I organised. Turing his phone off, hiding in my daughter’s play house outside. After telling him last year that I was done he got him self cleaned and it’s been amazing until last night…. That feeling in my tummy has never left me really. That feeling of just knowing somethings not right. I woke up this morning to find him on the sofa completely out of it. Another birthday tomorrow that he’s missed because of his addiction. This time it’s different, i’m different. I’m not gonna sit back and allow this to completely kill me, the Fights the arguments all behind closed doors. Nobody knows just me and him and that’s how it’s been for years A double life… i’ve had enough the upset the feeling sick. Putting on a show for the outside world. I’ve decided that it’s one too many times and it’s now time for me to walk…. Nobody should make somebody else feel like this, when he looks me in the eyes and says I love you, how Can he…. The pain in my eyes what he’s caused How can you love somebody and treat them so bad. That’s not love that’s not wanting to be on your own… that’s him being selfish ….. time to move on….
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Really feel for you . Mine left me and our 2 sons last year after 22 years just refused to come home says we were arguing and he needed to sort himself out , came out he had been using coke behind my back and ran up a shit load of debt , he’s left us with nothing cos he’s never got any money , turns up late cut work or is constantly (bad ) ???????? he’s like a stranger he’s just threw us away for coke it’s the devil im still struggling daily x h hope you find some peace x
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