[tashaevans96]

So me and my ex boyfriend have been together for 3 years , just moved into our first house 7 months ago and been engaged 4 months.

He broke up with me last Saturday and it’s killing me I have moved back to my parents I miss my partner and my dogs.i really want him back because he is the most caring loving guy when he’s off drugs .

He has had cocaine problems now for some years but since moving into our house he was getting better and I had him going to rehab and he was making massive improvements, he then stopped going to rehab and in his head he was cured, he then started wanting to go out drinking which is the main problem because that’s when he will take it most of the time so we have had a lot of argument about him not going out and that I don’t think he is fully over the addiction yet and it’s takes time but He has in his mind he will do what he want when he wants .

So basically he’s relapsed and back on cocaine but also injecting steroid and taking the tablets he just doesn’t see what he is doing to himself . He’s not returning home lying where he is and so on so 2 weeks ago that has put a massive strain on our relationships causing argument and so on but he even still ask to try for a baby with me 3 weeks ago but I said no time Wasn’t right yet due to argue and the drugs that week had been really bad and he decided to break up with me last Saturday because he is sick of arguing and feeling like I am controlling him by not wanting him to go out which isn’t the case I want him to be better and to make sure he’s fully off the drugs first before putting himself in that situation and also am scared because in the past he has lied ,not returned home , drink driving and so on

What do I do I want him back but he doesn’t seem to care I want to help him

[danman83]

Hi tash, im the same as your bf, i have a problem with coke and i do steroids once a year. But the steroids have never been a problem with me and my gf.

Im lapsing every 3 or 4 week on coke. Im doing my best to stop as i cant stand the stuff anymore. It makes me depressed and suicidal thoughts when im coming down.

But that can also mess with your bf head to be honest. Because of the roids and the hormones.

Anyway…your right in what your saying about .. wanting him to stay in to get better and dont want him to use.

But alcohol is the main trigger to get cocaine. If he doesnt drink for 18 month and no come, and then he goes out with lads.. c

Of course he is going to have coke.

When i was clean for 3 month. You tell yourself you are ok and better now. Believe me you are not! Cocaine is a sneaky drug, it will harrass you for the 1st 3 month of quitting, through dreams, smells, places. Then it thinks ill give you a break , then 9 month down the line its tricking you again to get it. This stuff is like the devil.

It looks like your just going have to decide that, if you want to get back with him, you have to put up with the crap that goes with it. Because if he wants to go out with his mates, who obviously use. He will to.

Or just move on yourself.

[tashaevans96]

I just don’t know what to do to make him want to come back and try again we did have an amazing relationship but he decided he no longer needed rehab and things have been getting worse since then obv using coke then deciding to start on steroids again he messed up Tuesday didn’t return home drink driving and coke and I never really got an apology just cockyness and attitude so I felt like he didn’t care we had argued since then and Saturday comes and he tell me it over and to pack my bags he doesn’t want to speak ???? will he come running back

[tashaevans96]

He was wanting to get married next year and 3 weeks ago asked if we could try for a kid then 5 days later walks away from me

Does he actually even care about me or is this the effect of drugs messing with his head

[danman83]

I honestly dont know. There would obviously be a reason. If hes making these decisons while on coke then its the coke really.

If hes dumping you while on coke and saying nasty crap then its the coke.

If hes all over you the next day and apologising, he is regretting what he has done on the coke. But i dont know the full ins and outs.

But steroids did that to me in the past. I dumped my misses thinking.. the grass is greener. Roids do mess with your head tbh when i think about it. Your an emotional wreck.

I dont want to this.. but.. if hes not coming home and hes lying were he has been. Do you not think he could be up to something? Im only saying this because of that and with changing his mind all of a sudden about kids and marriage. I know coke makes you do stupid things.

[tashaevans96]

I don’t think he’s dating anyone as he just put himself on a dating site a few days ago and said he done it because he was coked out his head , I went over Saturday we cuddled on the sofa and got a take away then the Sunday he was cold again asking when am getting the rest of my stuff and after football Sunday got coked out his head till 5:30 then drove to work 7am Monday morning he then since hasn’t communicated with me . He just seems all over the place I don’t everything for him so I don’t see why he would want it to be over and he would never meet anyone that would do half the stuff I have for him

[tashaevans96]

It can’t be good mixing both cocaine and steroids I know he’s on them both pretty bad at the moment

[danman83]

Its not good at all.. and mixing coke with alcohol isnt good to. It produces another drug in your body called co ethadrol… i think its called that, but that is what stops alcohol effecting you when coked up. So you can drink loads and not get pissed.

Id just speak to him and see what he wants. And if he dont want to be with you, i know it will be hard but it probably might be a blessing in disguise.

[roark1642]

True they aren’t but the bad thing with alcohol abuse is the liver which will already be getting smashed by the roids

[tashaevans96]

Yes am going to I have just been back to what was meant to be our home and it’s absolutely disgusting he obv doesn’t care about anything needles left all over steroid bottles and everything dogs just left to piss everywhere am so heartbroken by this all he just doesn’t care

[danman83]

How old is he? Its not good leaving needles everywere. You should always lock them away. I recan and i could be wrong, hes not in the right frame of mind making decisions, regarding you 2, while he is on the juice. I remeber i use be feeling great on them, thinking im better off single and a load of other crap aswell. They make me feel horny as fuk and most people.

I remeber leaving my gf one week on them. Soo mixing them with coke, his head is going to be over the place.

It defeats the object of being on roids and having coke. Because the weekend comes and you get off your head and then you lose some size, because of not eating and sweating.

What did he say when u went round?

[tashaevans96]

He wasn’t in when I went round he was at football he rung me after asking if I had been . He acted all happy and merry on the phone like nothing happened he said speak to u soon and then I hung up , he is 27 we had a house was engaged and he’s just left everything with not a care . the house is stinking and an absolute mess he’s living off takeaways when he is eating and just falling asleep on sofa by the sounds of it I don’t understand how someone can go from being with someone for 3 years wanting everything and saying he would be broken if he lost me to not seeming to give a shit about me I have just got home and broken down I don’t know what to do I just want my relationship back and to help him

[danman83]

Have you told him you want to make it work and help him? Whats he saying to that? I know its hard. It always is splitting up. But just try and go out with your mates this weekend. And you try and have some fun

[tashaevans96]

Yes in a way, I wrote a letter for him last week letting him know that am sorry if he thought I was pushing or trying to control him that all I wanted to do was help and build our relationship told him I loved him and cared and treasured all our wonderful memories he then texted me saying he was crying his eyes out and of course he cared and loved me he then went cold again , Saturday come and he asked if I wanted to come over so I went over for a few hours cuddles on sofa kisses told me he wanted to spend him life with me and he would have a think about things and speak Sunday then Sunday come and he’s cold again and not speaking

[danman83]

Sounds like his head is up his ass. I wish my misses was like you lol.

Just give him a couple of days or something. He will come round

[tashaevans96]

Think am just going to back right off maybe if he thinks he’s lost me for good he might get a shock and see if I hear something in a few days and try reach out again just wish I could wake up out this nightmare and everything be ok

[danman83]

I think if he knows whats good for him he will come crawling back.. if you could see into the future now and say in 5 years time, hes still having coke all the time. Would you still be make it work with him?

[tashaevans96]

I hope so and yeh I probably would to be honest unfortunately I just want to try and help him and give him a chance

[danman83]

Well just keep trying and make him aware what hes doing to himself. Its a slippery slope what hes doing. Hopefully he will see sence with the coke and you.

[tashaevans96]

I really hope he sees sense am so worried in case something bad happens I just hope soon he will snap out of this

Thank you for listening and helping with your advice

[danman83]

Any luck today tash?

[tashaevans96]

No nothing really he has rang me twice being friendly but it’s been strictly business talk

I don’t know what to do to get him back

[danman83]

Go out saturday night, looking the dogs bollocks and get him jealous lol. That use to work for me. I always go back crawling haha.

Or just ignore him and not show you are hurting

[tashaevans96]

He has me blocked on everything so wouldn’t know I was out I don’t think it would really bother him anyway he knows I was out last weekend

I think am going to try ignoring all his messages and calls even business related once then if that doesn’t work try reverse psychology.

I just don’t understand what he’s thinking at the moment

[danman83]

Just leave him to it then. Your just going to make yourself ill. I know its cheesy. But time is a great healer, and everything happens for a reason. Just keep your self occupied so your not over thinking about it.

[tashaevans96]

I know I just need to try and forget I haven’t been able to eat or sleep for days now

[danman83]

Dont do that for a lad. No guys worth that. Get something eat and be with friends and fam who love you and respect you.

[tashaevans96]

Thank you for your help

[danman83]

You ok tash? You had a good weekend? Any good news on your bf?

[justme123]

Anyone who suffers with addiction which is a high percentage whether they have found there vice yet or not! Normally relapse. It’s all about how you look at it . Drugs are addicted I’ve because of the the high/feeling they bring. Is it right or is

It wrong ? That’s the question for most. The truth is that all

These drugs are brilliant and obviously addictive. The truth once again is lots of shit is addictive and even a drug…cigarettes as an example…..that problem with the other drugs is the price! You could be a billionaire and be addicted to

Say coke and maximising your fun times big time.

Generalising big time now as some people end up being proper

Weird and it acts as a gateway drug

To

Heroin etc as they chase another level but this from

My experience it the smaller percentage.

How about money depending you say clean during the week and say Saturday you can let loose but you have to be with him?

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