[xxblueeyesxx]

Hi I am new here and just need support really.

My story goes like this

I met my partner 8 years ago there is a 10 year age gap which I was worried about as I was older but it worked we went out had good times.

But it was always around alcohol, He never drove I did or we got a cab he was always at mine after work and would always drink 4 cans which was fine. At first !!

2 half years later the drinking was nearly every day I felt drained we argued a lot he was going out with his friends and losing his phone and screaming and shouting at me down the phone on the mornings and sometimes still sounded drunk ! When he was not drinking he would be quiet moody like he never really and it just got to much for me so we split up.

It was hard but I knew then he had a drink issue

3 years past and life was good peaceful and I know that makes sense to people who have lived with an active drinker.

Until I received an email from my ex asking how I was and I replied I didn’t hate him so why not.

We met up had a chat and the night was good.

He said he’d missed me and I was the one for him and you guessed it now I know I was sucked in and didn’t have a clue what I’d let myself in for.

First few weeks he was fine then out came the 2 bottles of red and I remember thinking 2 ? On a week day ? Ok let’s see how this goes they went down pretty quickly and soon he was drunk and it was party mode he was ok no major drama.

As the days went on misses red came out a few time’s always 2 bottles never ever 1 the nights wheee getting later staying up I started to feel tired and anxious but ignored the red flags ????

He would go a few days without drink then weekends 2 bottles of red a 4 cans and then the ranting started to take form.

The blame game started how i ruined his life how the girl friend he was with before we got back together was violent and she had done this and that to him.

I listened but something was ringing in my head like an alarm ????

A few weeks passed nothing had changed and o saw I had a message of Facebook from his ex asking if I was back with him and I shouldn’t have responded but something inside made me want to speak to her as some things he was saying just had me interested.

Me and her spoke (he never knew this ) and she told me he had hit her and she had to call the police once on him. She admitted she drank a lot and I said to her the man your explaining is not the man I know yes he rants but his never hit and would never harm a woman.

I dusted the conversation off as she sounded drunk when I spoke to her but something just didn’t sit right.

Weeks went on with my him the drinking continued the down days where quiet bad he was unwell for a week and I ended up taking him to the hospital but because of Covid o couldn’t go in.

He came out and said that his liver levels where raised but doctor said not to drink for 2 weeks and then he will be fine and have him tablets.

At 37 to me that’s a warning sign and I thought he would slow down nope 4 days after back drinking.

His depressive moods wheee quiet bad and even though I had some things going on it was never about me always about him.

One night he drank a bottle of jd and started ranting this tine was different his eyes had changed and we argued and out of no where he jumped up and came right up to my face and for the first time o was scared.

I calmed him down and he passed out on the sofa next day as of nothing had happened I put it down the Bottle of JD a few weeks later again he rages and in my face again this tone he pushes me and I hurt my arm which was badly bruised.

He never remembered it now I was feeling uneasy and so anxious.

His drinking would stop for a few days 4 max then bang bottle red 8 cans of Stella See never just one bottle.

I’m sure he would do things to get me to react so we would argue say hurtful things call me names Next morning it was always I love you after a while this didn’t mean anything anymore i wasn’t happy.

If he was at home drinking next day he would still sound drunk.

The other night he had been at the pub drove from there which drink driving doesn’t bother him at all.

And walked in with a bottle of red and 4 cans of Stella and I said your not drinking all of that tonight enough Is enough It’s a Thursday o have work which was an important date for me at work. That didn’t matter he was drinking them no matter what I said.

Half way through the evening he ragged again asking why o always try to make him look the bad person I ignored He carried on I ignored then he came Up into my face Again and o froze telling me to hit him obviously I wasn’t going to do this because I knew he wanted that so he could hit me back and then say she hit me first this had gone to a whole new level and o had to get out of this toxic relationship.

My neighbour had messaged me asking if I was ok they could hear him screaming at me I said yes called him down and went to bed he passed out on the sofa.

Tired and drained I went off to work messaged him telling him we was over and to leave my house I also said he wasn’t the man I met years ago the anger the confrontational ways where to much and I was not taking his abuse anymore then blocked him on everything.

So my question is when I met him he wasn’t never this angry and never this confrontational and o never feared him… now he is and I have seen now that in the last 3 years his changes so much and I do believe now he did hit his ex because I saw in his eyes how he might have hit me what makes them want to fight you when al you ever do it love and try and help.

His lost a few friends now where his ragged at them he was never ever this bad it’s so sad but for. My own sanity I had to escape and block o fear how far he would have gone.

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