[anon0801]

Hi. I found this page as I need support.

My partner of 7 years is addicted to cocaine. I suspected something wasnt right for months and one day called his bluff and said I knew everything.. to which then he broke down and came clean about the drugs. He would tell me he didnt have a job or pretended he got paid less (self employed painter and decorator). So I was covering all the Bill’s while paying for our wedding and buying everything for our kids christmas (2 kids aged 5 and 2) while he was feeding his habit.

I decided to stick by him and help him through. Only now I realise he wasnt ready for the help.

Fast forward a few months and he got worse, I found him in parties with just girls (he claims he was only using them for the coke). I’d had enough and he moved into his mums. Then of course spiralled even more out if control here.. he stopped coming to see the kids he was sleeping around behind my back while still making false promises to me. It broke my heart.

But I do genuinely believe theres a good person in there. For the 7 years we were together he was perfect, left notes around the house everyday. Treated me like a queen. But this drug has consumed him and changed him.

Hes now 2 weeks clean, has been going to several meetings, docs apps you name it. He wants his family back and I love him and want the same. But can he really change? I was due to be married to him in september and by december he was sleeping with another girl a week after I asked him to leave our home and sort his life out.

I want to believe it’s been the drugged up binge thats caused this behaviour. I suppose my question is, once the drugs have changed who they are.. can they ever return to who they used to be? Does anyone have success stories…

[sbalby77]

I’m in exactly the same position as you right now. My partner was an amazing person and I still love him so much. He started behaving weirdly about a year ago. lost a few jobs and never had any money. I thought the job loses were Covid related (He also works in a trade). But then he started taking my debit card from my bag and disappearing with the car for two days at a time. He was withdrawing 20 – 40 pounds a time. I was texting him begging him to bring the car back and he was just blocking me.

Meanwhile I was paying for everything. The bills, the rent and all our son’s medical expenses (he’s 3 years old and has Autism).

on Christmas eve he finally came home. He was acting strangely again but i’d gotten so used it, it just seemed like him. I went to bed and he stayed up. At about 2:00am I got a phone call from his best friend because my partner had sent him a video of himself committing suicide. I went downstairs and thought he was dead. I can’t tell you what that felt like. As i was calling the ambulance, he sat up and i realised he hadn’t really tried to kill himself, he’d just made a video and sent it to his friend, bt he was very high and made some comments that made me feel unsafe.

All I could think about was protecting my child, so I went back upstairs and called the police, he was arrested and taken to hospital for a mental health assessment.

I called him every hour at the hospital to make sure he was ok and they released him later in the evening of the same day. he went to his mum’s at my request.

I took our son to visit him on Christmas day and then on boxing day he stood up and told his parents he was going to visit a female friend. Since then I’ve discovered that he’s been with this girl since the beginning of December.

He has been clean for four weeks now and has his first meeting set up for the 26th. He says he loves me and misses me and asks to see me, my son and the dog. He texts me a lot BUT every weekend, he goes to this girl and while he’s there, he blocks me. It breaks my heart every single weekend and i just sob alone with my autistic child in our family home. Its truly awful.

I still love him and want him to recover so that we can be a family again. I’m also hoping to hear success stories 🙁

[anon0801]

I’m sorry to hear all of that.

Luckily for me my partner was never unfaithful when we were together. It was after I kicked him out and he had thought he lost everything that he ended up with someone else.. but he claims it didnt mean anything. I’m still hurt tho because while I was sat at home hoping he would sort himself out he was doing the exact opposite.

I do believe its the drugs that’s causing them to be this way but it doesnt make it any easier for us does it.

I hope your story ends well x

[retroheadz]

So, it’s never nice to go through what you have and I really feel for you especially with children.

I have personally taken large amounts of cocaine and all types of other drugs to mention. I had a very stressful careers and typically assumed I was a movie star. Anyway, I had many friends that I classed as “brother” I would see more of them and how they lived than my own beautiful wife! And that’s what this drug and other similar addictions do to you, from sleeping with other girls, stashing money, steeling money, perfecting your lying and I got 1st prize ???? to every other low life technique I can think of. A true addict will do anything and will continue to do anything until they decide they no longer want to do it and sadly very few succeed. I wish I could say that he will do anything to turn his life around and will never do it again but he’s already cheated on you and maintained a secret life behind your back so stopping that forever is HARD. Short of you requesting a urine test and a lie detector every month then I don’t think you will ever get normality. He needs to put 1000% into you and your family triangle because otherwise it won’t work. It’s very very sad but both I and the majority of my old friends (the ones alive) still think deeply about cocaine ???? think of your children, yourself and then you partner in that order. Stay safe

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