My fiance is a coke addict

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    • #26295
      sam1994
      Participant

      I can relate to this a lot. I am currently 13 weeks pregnant, I actually didn’t feel ready but he convinced me that it would be the turning point to change his life around. From when he knew up until now, he’s been using cocaine and then drinks after as well. Goes on binges and missing for days at a time. Whenever he’s exhausted from taking it he comes back home and says that he’s done and he’s gonna stop. He didn’t bother to attend any appointments for the service I referred him to. He’s recently got worse, started getting in trouble with the police for being intoxicated and driving his car. He started harassing me and made threats to damage property. He was told to not contact me as part of bail conditions however being so desperate for money to take more drugs he ended up breaking the conditions and showed up harassing me again. Your partner just like mine is stuck in an addiction cycle and will only recover when he breaks the pattern. I notice that after using he feels guilty and apologies but it’s only a matter of days before the irritation starts and the craving kicks in and he’s back to sneaking off again.

      • #26298
        gracey2002
        Participant

        Yes! That’s exactly what it’s like. My ex explained it to me how when they are on a comedown their emotions are hightened and they feel depressed. Not only because they say they don’t want to do it but because of the betrayal they have caused towards you. I would end up feeling bad because he would cry and apologise and say how suicidal he feels but if you think about it that’s just the comedown, once the comedown is over they are fine and don’t regret it as much. My daughter wasn’t long born and he is still using. I have tried my hardest but he still lashes out at me and says I’ve never been there for them because I’ve left him. It gets to a point where you just can’t bear it anymore x

    • #26299
      sam1994
      Participant

      Have you now separated from him? I just feel so sad because I think of all the good times we had and I’ve seen the potential of how normal he can be when he’s not using. I decided to have a termination which I’m going to have tomorrow, it’s really upsetting. I wish things would have turned out different but I know I can’t do this alone as I have no support and he in no state to be a parent at the moment. I am not sure where he is currently but the police are looking for him. I will feel more at rest once he’s in custody and it might just stop him using for a while

      • #26302
        gracey2002
        Participant

        Yeh we are separated. Be done the begging thing saying it won’t happen again and that he just wants to be a family, but I’ve heard it over and over again I’ve just gotten really sick of it. I love him so much and I really tried for over a year but it got nowhere. Im so sorry to hear that! It’s really said that it has got to that point but I totally understand, if you’re not ready to bring a baby into the world then that is your choice, especially if you’re not being supported. Horrible that it has gotten to that point, it really ruins lives. Being in jail might even make him worse, my ex’s dad was a drug dealer, he came out of prison addicted to heroin. Not trying to scare you or anything but sometimes they are so desperate for anything that they will take whatever is there

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