[donthaveaclue]

Hi Riesena

I’m sorry that you find yourself here too.

I haven’t been able to marry mine – we have been engaged for years. I’m in the process of moving out. We share a child.

My opinion, based on my own experiences, is that it is better to leave if you want children. You are young enough to be able to meet someone else and still have children.

The reason I say this is because imagine living this life indefinitely and either not having a child because of that or having one in these circumstances… it makes everything so much harder if you do and you are forever linked to the addict. Our child is not prioritised by their father, the drug is, both in terms of time and financially. Our child has to suffer the knock-on effects of their dad’s volatile mental health until we are able to be rehoused. It is not the relationship I wanted for our child.

My addict’s usage is also intrinsically linked with his poor mental health. He uses the drugs and drink and cigarettes as a means of coping but it is a cycle… they don’t help and just make it worse. If you use enough cocaine can permanently alter the brain… so mine now suffers with delusions and paranoia. This makes life hell. It’s all just so exhausting and like you said, it’s not really living a life along with them. You are merely existing alongside them.

xx

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