[lgmc]

I am now 36 but one of my closest friends from secondary school is now a heroin addict. She has been for a while and I regularly think about her and cry.

Growing up and throughout our 20s you would never have believed she would be the girl to turn out like that. She was ambitious and adventurous. Loved nature and was brave. She was almost geeky in a way. We used to party quite a bit and dabble in recreational drugs but neither of us would get in any sort of trouble. She always worked hard and held down a really good job.

At one point in our early 20s I asked her to go to a house party of a mutual friends and there she met the love of her life. She spent about 5 years with him and loved him probably way too much. She wanted marriage and children and he made out he was too young for all that and she knew he was the type who would always say that despite how old he got. And anyway he always said he didn’t believe in marriage full stop.

Eventually he dumped her in a very brutal way causing her to lose her home and job at the same time. After that she suddenly went downhill fast. I tried to support her but wasn’t able to. She went from starving herself, living off alcohol and then moving onto whatever she could for escapism. I believe she was on crack for a while and now heroin (maybe both). I don’t really know how she is at the moment but I guess if she wasn’t alive anymore I would have been told by her family. That news is something I’m really dreading and half expecting.

Anyway I’ve noticed through looking on social media that the ex boyfriend is now happily married with a child. Another woman has the life that she wanted but he made out he would never be able to give her. My friend did deserve that life because she was kind, lovely, loyal and fun. She was quite a catch really!

Even though I try to tell myself its not rational to think this way, whenever I get down about her and cry I can’t help but think it’s my fault for inviting her to that party. I always wish I didn’t.

Needed to get my story off my chest as it’s another one of those evenings where I’m thinking of her and crying.

[lindyloo]

Hi LGMC

Welcome to the forum, so many people here with loved ones with addictions and also some good advice from people in recovery.

We all have our low times when you are around people with addictions. I just wanted you to know that people care , and life isn’t always as straightforward as we would hope.

I’m sure you have been a good friend over the years. You can only support them so much when they have an addiction. Please don’t blame yourself for anything.

The choices are all theirs , some people dabble with drugs and can control it, others with addictive personality or possibly mental health issues will be unable to stop once they are triggered. i.e.

Broken relationship, a death etc.

Unfortunately it is out of our hands as they decide to go down this road of self destruction.

My son has alcohol and cocaine issues, weve had some tough times over the years. He’s currently 7weeks clean which is fantastic.

He told me that he always needs to know that he’s loved and support him as best we can. Give food but not cash.

She could still turn her life around but she needs to make that choice and reach out for help.

Its sad and ironic that exbf changed his views, but that’s life I guess. He’ll not be as upset as you, you are a sensitive caring person.

Be there if and where you can, pray for her to find strength to get through this.

Try not to beat yourself up about this, you’re not the one to blame, it’s all down to choices.

Take care, I’ll be thinking and praying for your friend. I hope she will turn her life around.

Always hear to chat

Lx

[Author]

Posts