[egtaylor]

Hi guys, I’m Emily and I’m 25. I’ve been with my girlfriend for over 3 and a half years and have been living with her for 3 years. We found each other through mutual friends, and at the time both had issues with Xanax addiction. Through out these years we have done countless terrible things and experimented with a lot of different drugs. I decided to stop after her first seizure. She had a withdrawal seizure from Xanax while driving. Luckily no one was hurt. Numerous times she has gone to the doctor to get help and therapy and it has been unsuccessful and she quits. She has had three seizures due to withdraw. I’ve noticed now that I have gotten sober from pills that the way she treats me when intoxicated, and her behavior is not who she really is. She becomes ruthless. Says I’m judgmental and that’s all I’ve ever been. I tell her I’m there for her but I can’t stick around if she continues to use Xanax. She turns into a monster and has ruined many relationships with friends. I don’t want to feel stupid for staying with her because I was an addict too and I have been given better resources to reach my recovery. If it weren’t for drugs, our relationship would not involve fighting. It’s all we argue about because she lies about when she’s using. Sometimes she will go months not using Xanax but she will binge other pills such as opiates. She is not a daily user, and I just know the potential we have in our relationship if she would stop using. She tells me she is only 23, and all though we have started our lives together she doesn’t see herself stopping right now. It’s like for her to consider stopping something traumatic has to happen. (Such as a seizure). She doesn’t believe she’s an addict. I don’t want all hope to be lost because aside from our issues involving drug use, we are happy and I don’t want to give up. I just need some advice because I’m so confused how I can love someone this much, but she doesn’t love me enough to get help. I don’t want to keep being an enabler.

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