Hi Hendricks
So sorry to her you’re feeling sad and alone.
I know that feeling well, its so difficult talking to family and friends because if you’re anything like me you don’t like to worry others.
I really don’t know how you have stuck it out for such a long time. I used to beg my Mum to leave my Dad for drinking too much but like you she stayed by his side. I’m afraid I don’t have very god staying power so not much good at giving advice but do hope you manage to find some happiness and peace.
All the best.