[lemonysnicket]

Dear Blue Widow

I am so sorry to read your story. I really hope you have some support in real life. My husband is a cocaine addict and we are currently divorcing because I recently discovered he had lied about lapses and relapses and has enormous amounts of debt which he hid from me and I believe he will soon go bankrupt.

I am sure you have struggled for a long time and hoped for the best and had your hopes dashed. If you are like me it feels like someone else’s life, and it’s an enormous strain to deal with everything unravelling and and at the same time to deal with your own turmoil. I can’t imagine how terrible it must be if the addiction leads to death. Have you been to your GP? I expect that you would qualify for counselling. In the short term the Icarus Trust should be able to help you too. It is so much to bear. Keep well xx

[klc]

Dear Blue Widow,

My Heat hurts for you. I’m so sorry for your loss and what you have had to go through since the loss of your husband.

My Husband too is a cocaine addict and although he has spent some time in rehab, he keeps relapsing. I am unfortunately mentally preparing myself to be in the same potion as you. The helplessness I feel is unbearable.

I hope you have been able to receive some kind of help and support that you deserve.

xx

[redted22]

Hi posters above, just want to send love and thoughts to you all. My ex husband is an addict of alcohol and cocaine (plus other highs). It destroyed our marriage he has fallen even further now.

Just want to let you all know you are not alone.

XX

[icarus-trust]

Hello,

I’m so very sad to read your post. I can only imagine what you must have been through and the pain you are still feeling. I hope that you have been able to get some support and maybe, help / counselling through your gp, but if you would like any further help please contact us at The Icarus Trust.

We are a charity that provides support for people in similar situations to yourself, who are having to deal with the impact of a loved one’s addiction. We have experienced, trained people you could talk with, if you wanted to get in touch.

You can contact The Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website http://www.icarustrust.org

I do hope this is helpful.

Thinking of you.

All the best.

[thelostone]

hello everyone,

bluewidow I am so so sorry to read your story. The sense of loss and pain you must feel, being unable to reconcile things, and it ending as it did.. so sorry. My partner is a crack addict and as I try to break away, I read your words and know that could easily happen to him, and I will feel, like you, that it wasn’t meant to end this way. But the sad reality is, it can – and does. As sober rational people we BELIEVE they will recover, they will come back to us, they will stop and everything will go back to as it was – and it’s highly likely in a lot of cases, that just won’t happen… ever. I’ve accepted that and it’s making it easier to walk away. This is not my journey, it’s his. And it was your husband’s. I hope you come to terms with what happened – you are not alone, we are always here if you need to talk. Find some calm x

[jacjacjac]

This is my first post to this forum. Your husband and my husband could be the same person, same age, same all night benders, getting cocaine from prostitutes, having control of the finances and what you have described is my worst fear. My heart hurts for you. I’m so sorry for the pain and the loss that you have experienced. You must have so many unanswered questions and such anger towards your husband, but at the same time mourning the man you married. Cocaine to me is like a demon. It preys on those with addictive personalities and overtakes every good thing in that persons life, and ruins the lives of those around them and its effects can last for generations. I pray that you can find some peace and happiness in the future. Sending all my love and support.

[philip]

I just lost my wife over druges and drink it is hard for us all but that is the road they go down and we all pay for it but we all still care for them love to all of you how go though it

[trainer28]

The Blue Widow. It sounds like you need professional counselling to help you deal with all the feelings that are coming up. In some areas you can self-refer, ask your GP or google it.

All I can add is that it is a disease, apparently the person isn’t there anymore. The disease takes over.

I am sorry for your loss physically but the emotional loss probably happened a long time ago. Take care

[Author]

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