My husband is a heroin addict

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    • #5208
      staceynjay2015
      Participant

      I got married in 2017 to my husband he had been clean from heroin for nearly 6 years! A really big achievement, then last year September 2018 I found out he had been using again, when I asked him he first denied it, then admitted it 2 days later! He would get clean for 2 weeks and relapse, he would sit and smoke it in front of me! I left and stayed at my mum’s in January this year, and he injected it and overdosed! He carried on using! He has just been clean again for nearly 2 weeks, and gone back to it again as I found out yesterday! And still he tried to lie to me, but I saw the dealers number on his phone! He’s currently upstairs taking heroin! It kills me to see the person I love get into the state he is now! I’m angry upset, I feel he doesn’t care about my feelings! And I have know idea what to do, all he ever says is I’m sorry I will sort it! It’s a broken record I have heard it so many times!

    • #12468
      janette132
      Participant

      Hi Stacey

      Well I’m in the same situation as you but I’m not married. My partner is a heroin addict and he uses in front of me which I tell him every time not too,

      My partner doesn’t work and doesn’t bring any money in and expects me to pay for his habit which I have been doing because I hate seeing him withdrawing and his mood swings, today he is crawling the walls because I’ve no money left to pay for his addiction and I’m not going to pay my hard earned money on that stuff x

    • #12469
      staceynjay2015
      Participant

      Hi janette,

      Sorry to hear you are in the same situation !! It’s so horrible to watch, my husband isn’t supposed to use in front of me but he keeps trying to! He says he wants to stop!! He also has binges on crack cocaine! If I try and mention his use he gets angry with me and says I’m not supporting him!! He says he’s stopping again next week,, but I can’t believe that when this has been going on since September!! How long have you been with your partner x

    • #12471
      janette132
      Participant

      Mine been going on since November last year x says exactly the same ….

      I can’t take much more if I’m honest x

    • #12472
      staceynjay2015
      Participant

      Similar time frame then! Was he a user before? And I know exactly what you mean! I’m on the brink of leaving every other day!! And the way he has changed over the time is shocking he has no weight on him, he looks so unhealthy!! Do you have a face book account at all? Or anything I could add you, to talk to someone in the same situation can really help sometimes!!! Xx

    • #12474
      janette132
      Participant

      Love to talk more Stacey x

      I’m sat on a street corner while he scoring and I’m typing this to you x

      I’m on Facebook

      Janette plant x I got glasses on my Facebook picture x

    • #12475
      icarus-trust
      Participant

      Hi to you both,

      So sad to read your posts and see how hard it is for you to deal with your partner’s addiction.

      If you feel that you would like some other support for yourself please contact us at The Icarus Trust. we are a charity that provides support for people coping with a family member’s addictive behaviours. We have experienced trained people you could talk with, who would be able to let you know what other help is out there.

      You can contact The Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website http://www.icarustrust.org

      Good luck with everything.

    • #12485
      janette132
      Participant

      Thank you x

    • #12678
      lastresort
      Participant

      Same for me. It’s a nightmare. Luckily we don’t live together. We see each other weekends have a great time then he goes home and uses for a few days. Same again and gone on too long. It’s becoming a very boring vicious cycle. Addicts are very very selfish when In active addiction. I give him zero money and refuse to see him if I know he’s using. After two failed rehab attempts I’ve decided to end it for good if he doesn’t commit to recovery. Life’s too short to keep getting dragged into the chaos. I’ve learnt a lot about the disease of addiction but I’ll only be by his side if he commits to recovery. Heroin robs everything from possessions to health and is soul destroying for all involved. They are not to blame for the addiction but they are responsible for their recovery and without recovery heroin will destroy everything in its path without any exceptions. I was happy before I met him and if need be I’ll ensure I’m happy again with or without him. I don’t mean to sound harsh and I’m very supportive when he’s engaging in recovery but I will provide nothing that will help him continue to feed the addiction because it will never ever be satisfied. We can drive ourselves crazy obsessing about them but they’re the only ones that can change it and. Without putting recovery first then everything else is usually lost eventually. Best wishes x

    • #12679
      janette132
      Participant

      Awww thanks for your message and I’m exactly in the same boat …. I’ve lived alone before and I’m sure I can do it again …. but I’ve told him if I catch him using again we are definitely over x I keep saying this but he worms his way back into my life x

      I need to harden up I know !

    • #15922
      exaddict
      Participant

      When I was a little girl I had so many dreams,

      I’d become a vet with a nice house, car and I’d be free,

      My husband would be successful and 2 children we would have,

      But sadly life had other plans,

      For I met heroin at just 15, it was amazing and made me feel I could breath,

      I was cool and had my own money,

      Life was amazing when I had my honey,

      Then one day I had made plans, instead of meeting with him I was going to see my pals, 

      Heroin was not happy and he would make me pay, 

      How dare I go without him even if it was for 1 day?

      He made me ill he made me sick he make me pray for just 1 hit,

      So I gave in, I begged and I pleaded just 1 more hit is what I needed. 

      Where did this come from? I wasn’t an addict, how come this be? Why do I feel this way when I dont have it? 

      From then on my life was a mess.

      I would walk for hours trying to find him, stealing, lying and cheating just to feed my habit.

      All I could think about was where my next fix was coming from, 

      I remember the days I would want to die, I didnt want this life I just wanted to fly, 

      At least if I was gone my family could then move on. 

      Then one day God looked down and he answered my prayers,

      But before he brought me home he agreed to give me a final scare.

      I woke up in hospital and I was free, you see theyd medicated me.

      They told me no more would I need to beg,

      For they would simply give me some meds,

      They would help me break my habit, my addiction no more would I need to carry,

      I should have been over the moon but I was scared.

      I didn’t know what to do.

      I loved heroin and when he was around I knew he loved me, it was just hard for him to be found. 

      But then I realised it just wasn’t meant to be.

      I took each day as it came, I would take my meds without delay.

      It was hard to let go and I felt so alone. 

      Before I knew it my life had moved on, no more thinking of what had gone on.

      I was free and able to fly,

      My prayers had been answered and I didn’t need a line.

      Now I’m back on my lifes path,

      Following my dreams and I know it sounds daft.

      So many still trapped and feel your alone.

      But your not, we each have a home.

      Theres help out there you just need to ask,

      Once your ready to leave him, it will be a bloody hard task,

      But life is waiting for you as it was me,

      Today is the day, just ask and you will see.

    • #15923
      exaddict
      Participant

      I would just like to share from the other side of the coin. Addiction is a horrible and nasty situation but hand on heart no one can help an addict with support. The only way an addict can be helped is by hitting rock bottom and then falling again. An addict believes they want help when they dont have it but as soon as they get it that thought goes out the window. They will say what ever it takes to get money and next fix. It’s really sad to say but all you can do is walk away and tell them once they have got help then you will start rebuilding with them but until that help has been sort by them theres nothing you can do. You can certainly make appointments are your GP and substance misuse place and attend with them but you can’t believe the “1 more fix and I’ll get help” story

    • #17491
      pass
      Participant

      My heart goes out to everyone who is affected by a heroin addict. I hope I am not judged I too am a heroin addict, but the difference is I am living a programme of abstinence through na twelve steps. I got complacent in my recovery and had all the material things in life the nice bought house, the job all the exterior things, but I hadn’t worked the 12 steps and was only a matter of time that I would return to my poison. My partner (well now ex partner was secretly using behind my back) leave him right? If it were only that simple as I was 7 months pregnant to him. I wanted to help him foolishly I only enabled his addiction and I was only doing this until he started a prescription and could go back into a 12 step recovery programme and everything would work out right? Wrong, he made me feel so loved and adored I had never felt that before in my entire life, but as soon as I stopped funding his addiction he turned into a monster doing anything for drugs he conned me out of over £2,000 when I was pregnant not to mention the money lost I’d put down on flats etc I was in so much emotional pain and wasn’t getting to any narcotics anonymous meetings I only had his Mum (as mine couldn’t care less) all she did was allow his behaviour justifying his actions and promised he’d stop eventually for the sake of our son. I started self harming before I returned to my drug of choice heroin! I am clean again and have no contact with my ex partner he turned out to be an evil narcissist who was abusing me by term known as “gas lightening” oh it’s her mental health nothing to do with the fact he was lying, stealing and bullying me every day. It makes me physically sick I loved this man and was blind by love I have had a horrific life in and out of care since 4 years old and sexually abused then I got married and he raped me yet I managed to stop using for a better life for me and my son. I know using is not the answer, but I am struggling with feeling feelings and relating to others experiences on this page. I feel that because I too am a heroin addict despite in recovery cannot get the same recognition in the likes of alanon for support. I feel judged because I am an addict too. Nobody can get an addict clean sadly, it’s a choice they must make for themselves when the consequences are sorer than the need for the high. My advice would be to run a mile and find a nice partner that loves you and doesn’t abuse drugs!

    • #20485
      afriend
      Participant

      Hey everyone,

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    • #22670
      victoria26
      Participant

      am sorry to hear a know what your going thought my husband keeps using every week or 2 he dose not not it when a got with him he was clean gose to the clinic every week for help and medication hes been on it since he was 18 hes not 24 he dose not use in front of me he gose to dealers houses av tried knocking on the doors to put a stop to it he’s mams tried every time a think av stopped it he finds another house to go to av got 3 children two him a feel like a can’t let my children out with him in the car av tried going to support group for help but a was the only one there where the husband uses heroin so ever went back av told him he needs help but he says he dose not am so scared to leave him but a feel like a haven’t got another choice am screening out for help but no one understands can any one help me please a feel like am trying him away to use a think if any thing happens to me who’s going to look after my baby’s because a can’t trust him to thank you go much if you read this and get back to me xxx

    • #24477
      leah21
      Participant

      Hi i dont no how i feel about writing this it is so hard to be honest! My partner is a heroin addict and he stopped injecting around 6 months ago , he looked so well in his face and he put weight back on he was doing well all though he is still smoking it i no how hard he must of had it to stop doing it the other way , but recently he has been acting abit dodgey right sly he went out this morning and come back his face looks really drawn in and his skin looks yellow. His cheekbones are showing too . I dont no what to think i dont want to accuse him but i really think he is injecting again ?

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