[themidgetgem]

My husband has a cocaine addiction. I left him 2 years ago due to having enough I cheated on him no excuse I know but he was not there for me when my brother killed himself I felt I had to deal with all on my own because he was too busy taking cocaine . I left for 1 year then moved back as my teenage kids said he had destroyed the house and was just sleeping all day . I went home he has since asked me to leave every time he’s in a mood . We have sex sometimes he’s nice to me and I feel like our marriage is getting better other days he tells me I’m a flag he never wants to get back with me. He wants a divorce . Then he flips it coming onto me begging for sex and affection it’s like mind games. He’s been adding young girls on Facebook , only fans girls on Facebook messaging girls saying how gorgeous they are . I even found messages to say he’s tried it on with our neighbour for sex when they was both taking cocaine together. Is this normal behaviour for a cocaine addict ?? The man I knew would never do things like that I just thought he was trying to get revenge for my infidelity.

He’s joining sex sites dating sites . He says he’s single can do what he wants . I’ve been told he has to hit rock bottom before he gets help ? I’m just worried now that he is going to hate me forever and never get our marriage back . I love him so much I’m heartbroken it’s awful watching the man you live destroy himself . I want to be happy but I’ve nowhere to go I’m so low and depressed

[danman83]

Hiya gem, I hope your OK. 1st off I’m 4 month and 1 week clean from cocaine. After using for 12 year. My gf kicked me out last year. She just had enough. But my life is going great now. Got my own 2 bed flat. Kids are on the couch at side of me and life is good. And I hit my rock bottom. I joined cocaine anonymous, I am doing the 12 steps I got a sponsor. I get on my knees the min I roll out of bed and pray. And I pray at night. I meditate each day. And now I live a honest life. I cut everyone off. I have new clean mates from C. A, I do meetings ect. If you want to stop and put the effort in. It will work and he will get better.

Now reading your story it’s me all over. And most addict. Cocaine is a seedy drug, it makes u cheat, go to brothels, escorts, dating sites the lot. It all comes hand in hand. It’s like the thrill of it all. I’ve done some nasty things and I wouldn’t of dreamed of doing them without coke. It’s ruins family’s.

All I can suggest now, is if he is not willing to get help and go to a meeting or rehab. You have your own life, move on think of your own mental health and your children. You can be there for 20 year telling him he needs get help. But if he don’t admit he is an addict and want help himself, your flogging a dead horse. No matter how much u love him. Think of yourself now. And your children. Your life will get better and u will get happier I promise u this. Just believe in your self. And trust what your doing is right. Hope this helps

[themidgetgem]

Thank you I think he’s beyond help and will only realise when it’s too late

[danman83]

Also I am not saying he has done these things with women, escorts ect.. Just need to clarify that. I’m going off me and what other addicts share in meetings. Not everyone is the same. But it is common that alot do do.

[themidgetgem]

I’ve found messages on his phone and seen him on sites plus he’s tried to sleep with the neighbour when under the influence. He’s a different person he’s kicked me out today saying it’s all me so I’ve gone to a refuge he can just continue to destroy himself he’s past any help but thank you

[danman83]

Your joking no way he’s kicked you out and your in a refuge. Hope your OK. We’re is it u are from

[themidgetgem]

St. Helens

[danman83]

From Bolton me. Not far. Have u any kids. You have somewhere to sleep tho don’t you? Don’t ever go back if he’s doing that

[themidgetgem]

Yes thanks , I’ve 4 but they are all big now 18-22 they dislike him so much because of how he’s being it’s so sad

[danman83]

Well can u not stay at there’s. Horrible seeing someone get kicked out.

[themidgetgem]

They all live in the family home . I’ve left them there it’s there home . I’ll get them with me once I’ve sorted something

[danman83]

OK no worrys. Hope your OK anyway. Night

[themidgetgem]

How did you get clean from cocaine ? He’s literally making my life hell he almost makes me feel suicidal, like life would just be easier if I was gone

[themidgetgem]

Thanks night

[themidgetgem]

How did you get clean from cocaine ? He’s literally making my life hell he almost makes me feel suicidal, like life would just be easier if I was gone .

[danman83]

Don’t be thinking like that your better than that. I joined cocaine anonymous and do meetings. He needs to want to do it for himself.

All I can suggest to you and natasha now. And I don’t know your situations. Home wise, job wise ect.. But get your names on the council, explain your situation, keep applying for homes, flats ect.. Don’t tell your husbands, bf.. And do your best to save it. And soon as I get excepted or have enough money to rent saved. Leave and don’t look back.

And in the mean time see what help u can get for your situations off places like adfam ect.

[natasha21]

Hi midgetgem, I’m so sorry that this has happened to you. It makes me sick to the stomach because they really don’t deserve us and yet they treat us like shit like we are the problem. I think my husband is beyond help now,I really don’t like him and certainly don’t love him.i have not left because I have no where to go, womens refuge out the question cause I would have to leave my boys and there was domestic violence so no chance leaving my kids with him.i know it sounds awful but I pray he will have an accident, ive just told him he’s ruined mine and the kids lives.and how unhappy we are.*(hes Currently off his tits and drunk) same old.stay strong xx

[themidgetgem]

I need help he’s awful ????????????telling me get out the house with my kids saying he’s going to get me sacked I’m at the lowest of the low I cannot cope with his behaviour

[natasha21]

Hey themidgetgem,you need to speak to your local mp and get out that way, I can just bare mine because im not letting him control me. Like tonight for instance I know he’s had some cause hes waffling about boring stuff and work. I’ve just said shut up im trying to sleep, im not loud he said I said you are and boring.my poor son will need counselling bless him. Remember he’s an addict and narcissus he’s weak and you are strong and he’s doesn’t like it .sending you love xxx

[themidgetgem]

He’s awful telling me be out the house by next week he’s a drug addict whom cheats on me all the time

[donthaveaclue]

Have you tried speaking to the council about getting housed if he is going to make you homeless? Are you in a position to rent somewhere privately?

Mine has locked me out of our house several times. It’s so stressful and scary.

[natasha21]

You need rid,it makes me laugh cause they must think that they are gorgeous and irresistible and really they are hideous smack rats waiting for their next fix xx

[natasha21]

You need rid,it makes me laugh cause they must think that they are gorgeous and irresistible and really they are hideous smack rats waiting for their next fix xx

[themidgetgem]

I know he’s awful to me yet thinks he’s this ideal man ????

I’m going away for the night with the kids turning my phone off so I get no abuse

[themidgetgem]

I know he’s awful to me yet thinks he’s this ideal man ????

I’m going away for the night with the kids turning my phone off so I get no abuse

[natasha21]

Two mornings in the row now my rat has woken the whole house up,moaning yesterday it was about socks( even though he had loads and today is well cause he could. I said can you be quite im at work till 10 tonight. I hate my life and job all off you move out, I said not happening you can go and you are bi polar. Horrendous cretin, needs taking out on the motorway xx

[mammyessex]

I shouldn’t laugh but this comment has made my morning x

[themidgetgem]

Horrid aren’t they , mine this morning is lay on sofa still awake as this is what he does awake all night sleeps all day . Hasn’t worked since 2018 . And he thinks he can run the house when i go absolute waste of oxygen . Makes me sick

[natasha21]

Morning ladies, why has it made you laugh mammysex? I just laugh at him now cause ive realised how insecure and pathetic he really is.i mean if I have a crap day I don’t need drink or drugs to help me. Hes weak and when he’s shouting I just see a little chihuahua ( he’s only 5″6 ish.) Honestly don’t know who he thinks he is lol ???? anyway beautiful ladies the sun is out and your vampires are hiding away. Love to you both xx

[mammyessex]

The needs taking out on a motorway ???????????????? brilliant x we can dream eh xx lovely sunny day today let’s try and have a good one x

[natasha21]

I’m at work from 2 till 10 lol x

[themidgetgem]

I’ve gone away for the night to wales in a hot tub with my kids and dog having a lovely time ????enjoy your days ladies xx

[natasha21]

I don’t blame you beautiful, have a wonderful time its priceless being with your kids and dog xx

[themidgetgem]

Yes just relaxing I’ve even blocked him so he can’t give me abuse whilst I’m away xx

[natasha21]

Fair play, just say you have no signal. X

[jinn54]

Omg

[jinn54]

Hi guys . It’s been a while i have not heard from danman83.

Im not far from you guys . Im from Rochdale.

Hope i can help .

Feel soo sorry for midgetgem .. how dare he throw you out of the house.

If i was you don’t ever go back to him no matter how much you think you love him .

Love is just a feeling , you can be strong and fight that feeling off and free yourself from this abuse for good and enjoy life or go back to him and live a miserable life with him because doesn’t seem like he will change.

These addicts need us. They know we are better than them .

My husband is always on dating sites , watching porn and probably even cheat’s on me but who cares.. I’ve lost that connection with him years ago.

I to was hurt at 1st like you are and my husband would always put me down say nasty things to me , tell me about other women to get me jelouse, then he would block my number then unblock me .. oh the list goes on .

It’s pathetic.

I to suffer from mental health problems due to all this.

I’m a very independent women and a good mother to all my children.

He is the loser and the addict not me.

[jinn54]

Danman83 is the best person to talk regarding cocaine.

He has helped me alot to understand my husband’s behaviour.

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