[njbakamm]

Hi All! My name is Vickie. I am married tho separated, to an alcoholic who is dying of oral cancer, fourth stage, that has spread to his lymph nodes. He’s on hospice, and they say that he won’t last much longer. He is in another state because I left him almost 3 years ago now. I know someone who sees him quite often, and helps him with different situations. Last night apparently, a huge tumor on his neck ruptured and bled profusely. This person was called and went to assist with calling hospice and cleaning him up etc. It’s been a very confusing time for me come because this man cost me an incredible amount of problems, both emotional and financial, but I’m still having a hard time dealing with his impending death My family doesn’t really understand why I should care, so I don’t really talk about it with them. I feel bereft, I feel like I’m losing the relationship all over again, and I’m hurting for him because he’s in such misery. It’s all just a very confusing time.

[thistim3]

Hi Vicki, So sorry that you are going thru this. I went thru a similar situation when my mother was sick and passed away 7 years ago. Comments from others felt uncomfortable while I tried to reconcile myself to this tragedy. I still feel that I did the best that I could with the circumstances even though I did not go to her bedside after years of being estranged. I loved her and love her still. Don’t be hard on yourself. Everybody has to find their own way thru these situations and do what feels right for themselves.

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