[cali111]

I know it is probably impossible to find the answers I’m looking for but I find myself constantly searching. We had a very happy marriage and never would I have believed my husband would ever touch a drug. After starting a new job with a guy who he now refers to as a “narcissistic drug addict” I found out he had been hiding this “occasional” cocaine use from me for 5 months. It was in the couple weeks before I found out that I think it got really bad. He stopped coming home and was basically hiding from me. I hadn’t done anything but he blamed me said he needed space. He was so mean. Said he just didn’t care about my feelings anymore. So I left for the weekend to a friends only to find out he went out of town to party and do coke all weekend. He doesn’t even remember admitting to me that he used for 5 months. He doesn’t remember the simplest things anymore. He’s just gone off and started a new life in the matter of weeks between confessing his undying love for me to leaving the house for good. I think he is ashamed of what he’s done. I think he cheated and obviously has lied a million times. I just don’t understand how someone can walk out on their life like that. We had so many goals and plans and they were instantly just torn away. I never knew cocaine could take a hold like this on someone. Well I assume that’s what it is as he is a total different person and can’t even look at me anymore.

Just trying to get through my school right now and take it day by day I guess… what do you do when your entire future has just vanished before your eyes? I’m sure many of you can relate… peace and love to all xox

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