- This topic has 32 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 5 years, 7 months ago by hox.
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January 2, 2019 at 7:07 am #4988danman83Participant
Ive been having coke for years now.. only when i have a drink.. its like once a month.. or once every 2 week. May be once every 2 month. But my prob is it..it makes me suicidal coming down.. i hate the stuff. Ive been for help stopped for months then again i have a drink.ive got a lovely girlfriend 4 beautiful kids..and ive got a good job. Im so scared of losing it all . This year im gonna and will do my best to stop it.. ive just done a prevention plan. Ive never been so determined. This stuff is horrible and has ruined me. Even tho i dont have it every day.. if any one is going through the same thing i am happy to swap nums for support with each other. Thanks
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January 2, 2019 at 1:32 pm #10480girl1993Participant
You sound a lot like my boyfriend who does it all the time when he drinks. He can’t have a drink and not do it. He came in the other night and he bought tests for me to test him then he refused to do the tests although it being his idea Ive put up with it for years now and now I’ve left him. I can’t help him he won’t stop. It’s not all the time that I know of but at least 2x per week when he’s not working away….. maybe more now I’ve left him. I’m sure he did some the last night when he refused the test otherwise he would of just done the test like he said. I feel like he’s done it then waited a few hours for the effects to go the big eyes they don’t last long do they ? If you time it right. I only wanted to test because there’s not been a time he hasn’t done it when going out.
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January 2, 2019 at 6:51 pm #10481danman83Participant
So is he drinking 2 times a week then if hes having it twice a week? And my partner guesses by my eyes. Believe me that stuff is horrible.. but you go in any pub.. its rife with people offering it to you.
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January 3, 2019 at 10:49 am #10485girl1993Participant
He works away for a few weeks then he comes home for a few and goes out he normally goes out the first full day he’s home on the night and he drinks and takes coke, I absolutely hate it. He lies about it and tells me he hasn’t done it and then I see messages on his phone asking for it, I’m having a baby with him and he still does it. I’ve left now can’t deal with it anymore there’s no trust. Won’t admit to any problems just says he does it coz it’s there in front of him well no he asks and picks it up !!
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January 3, 2019 at 11:06 am #10488girl1993Participant
The eyes only last as long as the high anyway tho so if you wanted to take it and get away with it knowing people notice it by your eyes you could time it… see like why else would you refuse a drugs test that was your idea somthing was done that other night and I know it
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January 3, 2019 at 11:09 am #10489danman83Participant
Ye its not good that.. ive been the same. But ive been doing it sometimes on my own after a drink and im ashamed. But its when i have a drink thats it.. i go get it. Ive deleted my fb account now amd deleted all my numbers associated with it.. i suppose he needs to want to quit it him self. I hate the stuff and it sends me really down after having it and sometimes its suicidal. Id give him a chance and say its that stuff or us.. but thats up 2 u. And you probably have. Im on my last life and my kids mean everything to me. So am more determined.. you think of you and the baby. Thats all that matters.
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January 3, 2019 at 4:30 pm #10497girl1993Participant
Well he has done it alone we were just in the house I was in bed and he was in the garden doing some jobs it got to about 10pm and I was woundering what he was doing so I went in the back garden and he must of took it by himself with a few cans ???? so if you ask me there’s clearly a problem there? I think that drug makes you a compulsive lair about everything in life also….
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January 3, 2019 at 4:55 pm #10498danman83Participant
Well yes theres defo a problem there. Beer makes you want it more. And then by the end of the night you have had 3 to 4 bags. £120 to £150 for nothing. Has he not even said he will stop it for you and the baby?
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January 3, 2019 at 5:10 pm #10499girl1993Participant
He says he hasn’t got a problem it’s coz it’s there in front of him – it’s not true at all because he goes out of his way to go and get it. With him working away is also a compulsive liar and lies about what days he comes home as well so it’s like I can’t even keep track on if he has stopped or not. I’ve told him to go and get help but I don’t think he will he just says he will. I’ve even told his dad who doesn’t really belive me lol and has basically just said he will fall out with him if it’s true so not much support going on there from the person I thought could at least help ????????♀️ It’s a crap situation! How does having a beer make you want it more ? I dread him going out for beers because it always means beers and coke. I’ve been brought up to be anti- drugs and I just don’t get how you can risk your life for a good time like that – he says I’m being over the top when I say that and it’s iusy a little buzz but really it’s possible
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January 3, 2019 at 5:32 pm #10500danman83Participant
Everyone i speak to say the min they have beer.. its like let get on it and get some sniff.. and the night last longer. He will regret it in the long run
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January 4, 2019 at 12:08 am #10503jennifer68Participant
Hi I am mum of 21 year old who is same but not working as lost job through alcohol and coke it’s horrible cause he begs me for money when he’s on it and also lies to get it he steals off me too but when he’s drunk and on coke he then gambles online !! He’s done couple hundred in an hour when he was working is that something that others do ?
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January 4, 2019 at 2:03 am #10504danman83Participant
Yes i have gambled alot when ive had coke and alcohol.. tends to be online gambling as its easy to do. Dont give him any money. And ive never robbed of my mum to fund it. I dont know what you could do to be honest. May be tough love.. tell him get a job and sort him self or you will kick him out.. or just carry on as you are. Or tell him to admit he has a problem and you work together in beating his habbit. And he needs to find a job and get help.
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January 7, 2019 at 1:31 pm #10547georgia26Participant
remove yourself from situations – do not drink if its going to influence you to take drugs, dont go into pubs, go to support groups.. my boyfriend is doing to same – although hes stopped now, he doesnt go into pubs etc.. good luck truly xxx
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January 7, 2019 at 5:28 pm #10553icarus-trustParticipant
Hi Danman,
Good luck with everything. I hope you have still got support to help you with stopping the coke.
Keep strong.
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January 7, 2019 at 6:31 pm #10556danman83Participant
Yes i have.. not had it this year . Its only 7 days but i feel better. And ive just bought a book called.. How to change your life … its about anxiety and depression and addictions and how to stop it and management plans
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January 16, 2019 at 6:36 pm #10667hoxParticipant
Dan, what made you realise you had a problem?
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January 16, 2019 at 7:48 pm #10673danman83Participant
Different things really.. the suicidal thoughts, crying coming down off coke.
I messaged my mum about 5am 1 morning coming down, crying and texting her telling her everything asking for help. I felt ashamed and a bad dad even tho i do everything for my kids.
At 1st for a few years i never really felt down after it. But then 1 year it made me suiciadal everytime i had it. I was walking my dog 1 day. And was crying on a field to my self. And i was going new york the next day.. i was clean that day. And i thought i shouldnt be like this. And went to the docs. Its made me depressed now i think. Plus when i look back id been doing it for 8 years on and off. If thats not a problem.. what is lol
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January 16, 2019 at 8:23 pm #10678hoxParticipant
He doesn’t have suicidal thoughts, yet. He used to cry a lot about seven months ago now he’s more agitated and impatient.
I have been thinking of what its doing to him mentally or going to as he doesn’t understand people that do have depression or any mental illness. He has no understanding of it, just impatient.
Eight years, I feel like we haven’t even started.
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January 16, 2019 at 8:58 pm #10679danman83Participant
What do you mean havent even started?
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January 16, 2019 at 10:12 pm #10680hoxParticipant
You said when you look back you’d been doing it for eight years. He’s been doing it for probably three years occasionally. Now it’s the denial stage and it looks like there’s a long way to go yet, till something really bad happens to him physically or mentally and for him to come to his senses. I feel he has a long way to go.
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January 17, 2019 at 12:58 am #10681danman83Participant
Ye i get you. But some are alot worse than me and stop after a few year. So i wouldnt worry about that.. have you ever said to him its either coke or me?
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January 17, 2019 at 6:37 am #10682hoxParticipant
I haven’t asked him to choose.
The reason being for six months I couldn’t understand why the drastic change of personality. The other ailments I could put down to anything. The constant cold and sniffling. The blocked nose and nosebleeds. The stomach ache and aching bones. The tiredness. All I thought was he was stressed about the case and under the weather.
It is only because I have had six months of going over in my mind what went wrong. Mulling over everything. Had time to work out what he was doing, going out drinking and who with. Who he didn’t bother with. Who he’d turned against. The hobbies he used to love and the activities he pursued, that he didn’t want to do anymore. Had no passion for.
I only realised after Christmas what he’d been doing.
I talked with a trusted friend who has a wide range of associates and friends with differing problems. It was a lightbulb moment and I should have clicked before.
Now I feel that my moment was missed. In the beginning I could have asked him to choose if I’d realised. Now he hasn’t a problem, he can’t see it. Then again I didn’t see it.
That’s when I finally crumbled and went online to find answers and then help for myself. I feel I need to wait now for something bad to happen.
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January 17, 2019 at 5:15 pm #10689danman83Participant
Try and encourage him to get back in to his hobbies. Hes obviously lost that spark. Ive always said addiction is a routine as well. U do it same time and that. So he needs change his life around. But like you said he cant see what hes doing.. and to be honest a lot of my mates do coke and have been for years.. i dont speak to them really anymore. But i bet they dont think they are addicted as well. You only have to be having it 6 month then your addicted. He will soon realise when hes buying more and when the down side of it is getting worse.
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January 17, 2019 at 6:14 pm #10693hoxParticipant
Well tonight he’s feeling ill and not going out to play. He’s coughing feeling dizzy and he’s got red hot skin and feeling cold inside.
He is also planning on going back to the gym after seven months. This is a start but the coke friends also go to the gym and take steroids. Let’s see what happens.
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January 17, 2019 at 6:58 pm #10694danman83Participant
Ive had to bin my steroids lol well you know what the answer to that is.. he needs to join another gym! Lol
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January 17, 2019 at 7:08 pm #10695hoxParticipant
He would have to go to the local leisure centre lol and it isn’t good enough. Only for lightweights. I’ve asked him to stop the steroids and he said his last lot was seven or eight months ago. That must be true as thats the time he stopped going to the gym. But that is also when he started going out more drinking and doing the coke.
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January 17, 2019 at 8:12 pm #10699danman83Participant
Ye its the same old story.. lets get massive.. fuk it am going in town getting pissed flexing my size and getting some sniff.
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January 18, 2019 at 1:01 am #10713danman83Participant
Hahaha.
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January 18, 2019 at 8:48 am #10715georgia26Participant
Oh god its awful isnt it? we all laugh about it but humans really are so weird. This made me smile this morning reading this. As mine relapsed on Wednesday his mental health is horrendous, he went mad last night in rage and threw our wheelie bin across the garden 🙂 this is what drugs/alcohol do to him the days after, he cries and hates it, I am so so done with crying. He is so determined but I have heard it so many times before. Counselling starts Monday. I cant cope with the anxiety. He works from home on Fridays too which gives him a free rein so makes me feel worse, you cant get away from the stuff its everywhere, I wont be a hypocrite as I did it the odd weekend occasionally but I dont get the big deal, I hate the stuff it made me feel paranoid – although its hard as i havent ever been addicted to nothing, not even a fag.
Its so hard to try and understand, it is a disease, youre right, but it drags everyone around you down.
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January 19, 2019 at 11:03 am #10732hoxParticipant
He’s feeling better now. Got the phone call and gone for breakfast with his coke mates. Now I’m anxious. He didn’t go out on Thursday, didn’t go out last night. Told them he was ill, at least he was telling the truth. But now he’s seeing them he will be getting that urge to go out tonight.
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January 19, 2019 at 6:45 pm #10734danman83Participant
Well only coke he will prob be having is cola with his big breaki lol.. dont let him out! Lol
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