[carlyq]

Hi everyone. My mom is a heroin/opiate addict and has been my entire life. Well since I was like 5. Now I’m 26. She’s done it all though. She was hooked on meth for a couple years and that was way worse than anything else she had ever been on. Anyway, now she’s been clean for about a year from all the hard stuff. But she’s on methadone (if you’re not familiar, it’s a prescribed drug meant to block the opiate receptors in the brain and curb cravings, keeping her off heroin and pills.) She frequently abused the methadone. She either takes extra doses that she buys from a dealer or she mixes it with Xanax, Gabapentin, muscle relaxers or all of the above. It’s awful. She nods out in the bathroom and everywhere else. Her eyes are so glassy and droopy it’s fucking scary. I’m pretty sure she pissed herself this morning. She told me she threw up but idk. Maybe she did both. I went in the bathroom to help her and she looked up at me with her fucked up, no-pupils eyes and slurred “Aren’t you that girl I went to jail with?” She’s so fucking high that she doesn’t recognize her own daughter.

She’s come down a bit now (probably because she threw up) and is trying to tell me she’s not high, she’s just really tired and sick. I hate it when she fucking lies to me. She’s 53 now. She’s never going to stop. It’s never going to end. I really hope this isn’t the beginning of a bender because Christmas is a week away and she will ruin it 🙁 Comforting words and relatable stories would be helpful. Thanks everyone!!

[princey2k5]

Hi Carly

Sorry to hear your story. Many Heroine/opiate addicts will abuse methadone as it does create a similar effect to heroine but a lot less strong. They will only be prescribed a dose to ‘curb the craving’ so as with any recreational drug addict, you always chase that first time high.

Sadly many people think taking more Meth will get the desired hugh they got from Heroine. Whilst it may be stronger the more Meth you consume, it will never be the high they get from Heroine.

Remember, put yourself in your mums shoes. I obviously do not know the circumstances but most take Heroine to mask problems in life, reason being…. Heroine will mask it and mask it well. Picture sitting on the best beach in the world, with your best mates with perfect weather with your perfect drink and food and an unlimited credit card that you never have to pay back. Now, multiply that by 1000. That is the feeling Heroine gives the user. To go from lifes tough challenges to that euphoria is a hell of a trip.

Cut a long story short, most heroine users know theyre doing wrong and feel incredibky guilty for it but the withdrawal feelings will be overwhelming and they wont show that. Just remember thats your mum inside, no matter what and it is nothing against you. There is substitutes for Heroine other than Methadone. Has she tried that. Depending on your circumstances, keep her GP/team up to date and try other avenues and ultimately remember, nothing is forever. The only limit in the world is our minds. Stay safe and hope it all works out. Just get the idea of saying its forever out of your head. Nothing is.

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