[lfoste]

My mum is in her mid 40’s and she has been an alcoholic for years (during most of my childhood), I’m now a young adult. My parents have separated even though my dad has tried to get her the help she’s needed over the years. Over the last two years she’s been in hospital 40 plus times with her pancreas (more recently averaging once per fortnight) where she is violently sick and in acute pain. She comes out and the cycle starts again. She’s been offered rehab and me and my brother begged for her to give it another go but basically she sabotaged the plan and refused detox beforehand, services have gave up on trying to help her. She’s obviously lost her job, a lot of friends as well as her marriage. My brother doesn’t really speak to her anymore and lives abroad. She is becoming more violent and verbally aggressive. My dad is trying to pursue divorce but she is being a nightmare, I’m very worried about him as her behaviour is awful she is waking him up during the night, soiling on the floor and not cleaning up, smashing glass everywhere (we needed to contact police on one occasion), being destructive in general. She has capacity which limits the support we can put in place.

Advice; is there anything else I can do to get her help even though she won’t engage?

Is there anyway I can help my dad who looks like he’s going to have a breakdown if this continues?

Pancreatitis- is she dying and I need to accept this?

[debc]

Hi LFoste,

Welcome to the Forum.

Made me so sad reading your story. Your Mum is obviously very Ill from the alcohol, it definitely changes people and not always for the better.

The Icarus Trust post on here sometimes and you can talk to them, and I’m sure there are other places that you can ring. AA do have meetings for families of alcoholics, you would have to look to see if they have any in your area. What about speaking to your Mums Doctor?

Be there for your Dad and hopefully you can both get the help that you need for your Mum, I feel for you both.

Keep in touch on here, take care.

Dx

[Author]

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