[smile]

I would like a bit of advice if possible my partner use to use Coke frequently when we met some 9 years ago I wasent aware but we broke up when I did find out we then tried to sort things out and move forward He agreed that this would stop rather than us breaking up now we are like upto date last sept we visited our friends for dinner few drinks etc and I discovered that he had taken drugs there which he took I could tell during the eve he said nothing not even on the way home so I went mad and confronted him he admitted it apologised but I felt deceived as to me it was a dinner party not even a night out till 2 in the morning not that that justifies it but at present we are not together as there have been

A few other behaviour problems I’ve not been happy with but this issue is still ticking over in my mind he came today to talk but even when I mentioned it he just said I know I was wrong I should of said something but I just think that could of broke us up but he obviously didn’t think I’d find out

[debc]

Hi Smile,

Welcome to the Forum, a great place to be able to share your story and get good advice and chat with people who are in similar situations.

I am the Mum of an addict (alcohol and cocaine), doing well at the moment, but have lived through hell with him in previous years.

Do you think your partner has ever stopped taking cocaine while you have been with him? I only ask because I know they are very clever at hiding things, and alcohol is usually a big trigger for taking cocaine.

I think you have done the right thing by not being with him at the moment, it’s not a life that I would wish on my worst enemy.

Have you noticed any other changes in behaviour over the years? Lies, money problems, chatting to other women, I’m afraid these usually go hand in hand with the addiction. Please don’t think I’m being harsh, but it’s better to be aware of these things, I certainly wish I had better advice some 12 years ago.

Keep in touch on here and read other threads on the Forum.

Take care.

Dx

[smile]

Hi there thank u for ur read it’s very difficult to prove there still using if I have not actually seen but as I said he did I believe stop

For a while but all the time I’ve been with him it’s always he’s had depression anxiety so mental health probs he’s had counciling from our friend who is 25 years qualified that was a couple of years ago for various past problems not associated to drugs but I’m sure that was brought up cos I do believe he use to use as a block out the hurt of situations etc however since the help I would of said myself he would of been much happier within himself and not have such negatives but I feel he seems to want to make a small issue bigger totally over thinking it and it ends up becoming draining which I feel isant a balanced mind and I haven’t really seen much improvement of late I got made redundant this weekend we knew last year it would be the case and my son came to stay cos he fell out with he’s friend but what with my job and that I just didn’t feel the support at all and over 9 years I have given him so much myself I found out today from our friends we went to for the dinner party that the hubby did take Coke along with my partner at there house but not the girl yet yesterday when he came to me for a chat he lied told me both had so when I asked her she told me she had not so I now have seen he sat in our home and just lied to my face I just think is this what u do when u are meant to love someone not in my eyes it sant

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