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My partner has just told me it’s that bad he has a hole in his nose, I’m absolutely worrying my head off.
He said he tried to stop once but he was shaking in bed, what do i do now?? I feel sick I don’t know how I’ll sleep tonight!! He said he wants to stop but this morning he acted like everything was normal, did he regret telling me? Can he even remember telling me? I’m too scared to talk about it because it scares the hell out of me.
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You are not alone there are a lot of us on here worrying about our other halves cocaine addiction.
Problem is there is nothing you can do unless he wants help. At least he has admitted he is addicted. Ask, don’t be afraid. Tell him you are there to help.
Look at our ‘stories’ on here it will give you an insight of what is to come if nothing is done about it. Don’t sweep this chance under the carpet.
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He must be using a hell of a lot for his nose to get a hole in. Maybe in the morning as well. Im doing my best to stop coke. Im having it once a month. When its wearing off it sends you depressed and suicidal. I imagine hes told you as he is coming down wanting help.. but i could be wrong. But i doubt it, as it makes you do things like that and then be normal.the next day.
1st off if his nose is like that, he needs stop asap. I dont think its like heroin were u need weening off it. He needs to want to quit himself, and with his nose being like that id go see a doc, and get my self to a cocaine/narcs meeting straight away. He obviously is bad. Sit him down and ask him how long and how often and how much is he using. Tell him you want the truth or we wont able to fix this..
If he wants to quit he needs to.. delete all dealers nums out of his phone, friends and family who take coke. Come off all social media, and replace his routine with a new 1.. with new hobbies to replace his usual routine of having coke.
No drinking alcohol as well.
Does he go out alot?
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Have you not noticed him at all on it? Sniffing? Sneaking off? Coming back the next day? Or anxiety?
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Has he a got a well paid job if you dont mind me asking?
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He could be using at work. I know a few that do.. that could explain why he wont sit and have a coffee.. it knocks your appitite right out the window.
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Its a good wage. Just asking because with coke and how much you earn i guess has an influence how much you have of it, depending how bad you are. Because if you get one you get another, when that wears off you get another..
But if you have no money left, you just leave it there.
Does he want to get help?
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Ye i can see were your coming from. And there is nothing wrong with that.
But alcohol is a main trigger to get coke. The minute i drink, i want coke. So i dont drink unless i go out, which is very rarely.
But.. he has to look at the facts.. hes got a hole in his nose, he is an addict. Does he still want to go out twice a week knowing this? I know people who use each week and they dont have holes in there nose. Only times ive heard about that is like that daniella westbrook and kerry katona.. were they wake up taking it 1st thing in the morning, and plzzz dont think im having a go.. i am not.. im just making you aware because it seems you dont know much about it.
He might not have much and it might just effect his nose worse than others.
Have you got kids?
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Well ye it would work both ways.. hes high and happy and talkative and prob thought he best tell you..
I never tell my gf i use, but when i come down i tell her. And then she goes mad.
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It gets to the point as well , you need coke to go out or you wont be happy till u get it.
Its a real sneaky drug.
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Just try and make him aware that the money he puts up his nose could be going on the children, and no doubt your children get everything anyway.. mine do.. its just wasting money and my gf does this to me, and it upsets me and shes right.
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So whats he saying then? Is he going to carry on as normal? Or try and get help?
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Watch this video if you can. This woman has treated people for coke and crack problems, and she explains it all in good detail and how to stop.
Watch “Part 1 ‘Stop Using Crack/Cocaine and reclaim your life’, the recovery process revised” on YouTube
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Louise clarke is her name
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He needs to see a doc to see how bad it is.
Maybe if the doctor sees it and says.. if you carry on you will lose part of your nose in the middle. It might make him want to stop. So id mither him to see the doctor and it could help both of you really.
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No feel free to ask me anytime. I forgot say.. i had hypnosis last week for it last week. £85 for one 2 hour session. I dont feel like using but i seem to lapse every 4th week. It use be a lot worse than that. But im controlling it a lot better now. So ill have see if it works
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Ill let u know in about a month if its working lol. Good luck ????
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I’m sorry to hear this. Please know that we on here know what you are going through. You will not want to hear what I have to say, I certainly didn’t when I first came on here, but the truth is this.
He has told you he didn’t like his ex as she was “controlling”. No, I bet he didn’t. We all get tarnished with that one.
You are now in a panic, you are going to want to fix him. I’m sorry, you can’t. I learned the hard way when after 20 years and two children together my husband had a psychotic meltdown and accused me of having an affair which for all the flack I got I certainly wish I had. I screamed, I begged, I pleaded, I acted kindly and sympathetically, I read up, I did everything to save him. He even begged to come back and I took him (after he left me by the way as I was “doing his nut in”) yeah right…that lasted 5 months. I finally divorced him in June.
The lies still keep coming fast and furious. You almost believe them they are such accomplished manipulators and liars. Even when my 9 year old son found weed in his car and I got a social services referral (no action taken as I am not an addict) he still minimised the extent of his drug taking lifestyle. And the cocaine. Well if you want to truly go to the dark side then that’s certainly the gateway.
I have suffered, my kids have suffered and all the while he swans about snorting and puffing bringing himself up and down like a friggin yo-yo without a care in the world.
I have been through two years of utter hell, suffered chronic depression, financial ruin and the light feels like it has been sucked out of my soul.
Your partner has a hole up his nose. That’s a heavy user. He’s going to lie to you left right and centre to get away with that one. I made the mistake of believing the lies for 8 years. My lovely kind caring gentle husband died years ago. I was in denial.
Confront him and see what he says. I bet he will regret having said that to you.
My advice, and I am sorry that this sounds harsh, is to walk and never look back. I truly wish somebody had said that to me. But I probably wouldn’t have listened. Sometimes the paths we go down are the ones we need for life to teach us the lessons we need to learn.
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Helpless,
My husband has a hole in his nose too, without being graphic he was blowing chunks out for weeks after he eventually stopped the coke. Thankfully its not right through to the otherside, but its pretty bad, and would have only got worse.
My husband also used to tell me that he wouldnt be controlled. Frankly I think thats the coke talking, as we as partners just want them to stop, so try to work out ways to avoid them doing it. Thing is, all that creates is resentment. Its like telling a kid they can’t do something, they then just want to. Like Danman says, he has to want to stop, and there isnt a thing you can do about it if he’s not at that stage. I’m not talking about a remorseful guilty moment, I’m talking about truly wanting to not be a slave to it.
Coke is about the worst psychologically addictive drug out there, you dont get the physical withdrawal like alcohol or heroin, but dont underestimate its power to keep an addict pulled in.
Hope your partner sees the light and realises the only person thats winning here is his dealer.
Sending hugs x
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There’s little point having the talk while he’s using, in fact its dangerous. So Just take some time out for yourself.
Him asking how you are and what you’re up to, is just his guilt, it makes the user incredibly selfish. (what other drug would reduce all inhibitions and morals to let users think it was fine to cheat).
He knows what he’s doing is wrong to you, but wants to keep you dangling on the end of the phone for when he wants you.
You should be his priority, I know this now x
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I just read the reply from Bluebell. She’s bang on. I could have written her reply, I was accused of an affair with my boss, I now believe my husband was too having a psychotic episode as it was just crazy.
You sound like all the other partners on here, but your journey isn’t too far in to get out.
I think I speak for all the partners who are broken and years into living this awful life. We all should have left a long time ago and been happier.
You can’t help him. You need to look after you. Xx
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He knows you won’t do anything if he tells you he’s done lines. It’s like, I’m being honest with you, that’s good isn’t it…. well kind of, but no??
It’s a warped way of thinking and you’ll become wrapped up in it so tight you can’t breathe
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