[ahlags429]

Hi, I found myself on this forum after I found out my boyfriend of over 2 years, whom which I’ve been friends with for over 10, has a cocaine addiction. He said he’s been doing it for 4 years and it gradually became something he did daily, often multiple times a day. I had seen sketchy texts and caught him in random lies, but never knew his use was this bad. It took me catching him in a plethora of lies for him to admit what was going on. He even admitted to bringing it on trips with my family and hiding in the bathroom to get high. And for context, I have never even tried cocaine.

We moved in together 2 months ago and he said he was clean during that period, until he had a boys trip out of town and relapsed. He wants to quit and says he knows he can, but I’m scared for what the future holds. I don’t want to have to constantly watch over him like a hawk, trust is a very important part of a relationship to me. I love him so much and I am hurting so bad. I feel like I can’t talk to anyone about this because I don’t want them to judge him.

If anyone has any resources or advice that have helped them through a similar situation, it would be much appreciated. I want to help him get clean but need to know it is possible.

[debc]

Hi ahlags429,

This is a good place to start with finding help and talking to people who are in the same situation.

My Son is an addict (cocaine and alcohol), he is in Recovery, but having had 10 plus years of this, they are the only ones that can help themselves and only when they are ready.

He had been in Rehab twice, does zoom meetings every day for CA and AA, and has a sponsor to help him work through the 12 step recovery program.

This Forum is great for help and sharing our stories with each other, it has certainly helped me.

The trust is a huge thing, especially in a relationship, because they do lie, I sometimes wonder if they even know they are doing it.

There are lots of stories on here in the same situation as yourself, I don’t know whether you have read them.

The Icarus Trust is another place that is very helpful.

I wish you well, take care and keep in touch.

Dx

[ahlags429]

Hi Debc,

Thanks so much for your response. It’s helpful to know others can relate and recovery isn’t impossible.

The lying is one of the scariest parts to me, as you said it’s like they don’t even know they’re doing it, which makes it even harder for us to spot.

He told me he would start looking into AA/CA meetings. I’m trying to let him take ownership of finding a group so he doesn’t feel like he is being pushed, but rather doing it because be wants to.

Thanks again, be well.

[lindyloo]

Hi Ahlags and welcome to the forum.

I’m so sorry to read your story and wanted to let you know that you are no alone. Everyone on this forum has been affected by alcohol or substance abuse in some way. Either their loved one, or there are some recovering addicts who share advice and support too.

I found myself wanting to vent when my son had relapsed. He takes alcohol and cocaine. The alcohol is a trigger for drugs, so really it should be avoided at all costs.

Read the other stories, “share your stories ” then click back to 15th September. There’s some good advice and support. The Forum home page is helpful and the Icarus Trust posts here also.

I wish I had all the answers for you, but your bf will have to admit he has a problem then attend/go online to the aa or ca meetings. He’ll be meeting others in the same situation and others who are years clean who offer help and support.

I hope and pray you both get the support you seek.

Take care of yourself

Lx

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