[jasminnie]

So my son is using cocain but cannot afford to, and it’s only come to Light a few weeks ago as I found some small bags in his pockets(which I tested and were positive for cocain) he is skint all the time even though he has a well. Paid job and keeps asking me for money which never gets paid back. Recently I found he was urinating into coca cola tins in his bedroom, and I tested these which were also positive for cocain, but he said it was months ago (I know it wasn’t because up Until recently I was cleaning his bedroom. But I’ve had enough and cannot cope. I’m skint. ????

[danman83]

Does he want to quit though? You can go on at him all day long. But if he does not want to stop.. he wont put the effort in to.

And i wouldnt give him anymore money what so ever, unless its for food.

[jasminnie]

But how long do you keep giving him Money for food? I don’t even know if he is using the money for food??

[hox]

Does your son live with you Jasminnie?

[jasminnie]

Yes ????

[hox]

I was wondering when Dan said just give him money for food. Like you said though you would’t know if he was buying food. Because he lives with you he doesn’t need any money because you are providing everything for him.

[jasminnie]

Yes

[jasminnie]

Yes he does, I figure if he’s with us we can keep an eye on him

[hox]

As Dan says, does he want to quit? Has he got to the point that he wants help?

If not you are onto a losing battle I’m afraid. If you lend him money it will only enable him to buy more cocaine. When they are hooked it’s the only thing they think about and they will lie and manipulate.

You can only offer support when he accepts he has a problem. It’s not a position any of us want to be in.

[jasminnie]

I’m at my wits end

[danman83]

Buy him the food.. dont give him any money..and i know its worrying. My mum does as well. Have you sat him down and talked to him about it?.. maybe sit him down and if he wants to stop try and come up.with a plan of action to help him.

If he wants to.. he needs give up alcohol as this is a big trigger to get coke. He needs to delete all dealers numbers, friends who have coke, family who have coke. Delete all social media.. avoid anything and anywere to do with coke. Its hard dont get me wrong. But admitting you have a problem and wanting help is a big stepping stone towards stopping.

[jasminnie]

Tried talking, doesn’t help

[lancaster78]

Jasmine I understand your worry and feeling of being at your wits end! My son isn’t acknowledging he needs help and is being secretive about his drug use. Accepting that has been a big discovery for me. I have taken him food shopping so I know he has food in and a roof over his head. He has no cash and has asked for money/ a loan he says but he’s had so much money over the last year and never pays a penny back. I said no, it was the hardest thing to do! But I know by Giving him money I’ve been rescuing and enabling his chaotic life and I need to stop doing it or else this will carry on.

[jasminnie]

How old is your son? Its hard because unless they accept they need any help. There is not much help out there.

[jasminnie]

How old is your son? Its hard because unless they accept they need any help. There is not much help out there.

[icarus-trust]

Hi Jasminnie,

If you would like some further support for yourself please contact us at Icarus Trust. we are a charity that provides support for people in your situation. If you get in touch you would be able to talk to one of our experienced people which might help you to find the way forward.

You can contact Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website http://www.icarustrust.org

All the best.

[jasminnie]

I am absolutely lost and don’t know what to do anymore

[jasminnie]

OK. I’ve found knives. Getting really worried

[david2018]

my mum buys me food now instead of money, do that because it wont get spent on food it be for drugs or alcohol.

[jasminnie]

So I have kicked my son out again, which breaks my heart. He wanted money and I said no so as usual he starts calling me all the names under the sun and it really hurts.

He’s admitted he pays between £300 & £500 a week on cocain and is always skint. He has also tried kicking the door in if we don’t let him. In, we’ve had the police but that doesn’t seem to help. I feel I need to start giving him tough love, I’ve had to block him on all communication levels as I cannot deal with the abuse he sends me.

[jasminnie]

So I have kicked my son out again, which breaks my heart. He wanted money and I said no so as usual he starts calling me all the names under the sun and it really hurts.

He’s admitted he pays between £300 & £500 a week on cocain and is always skint. He has also tried kicking the door in if we don’t let him. In, we’ve had the police but that doesn’t seem to help. I feel I need to start giving him tough love, I’ve had to block him on all communication levels as I cannot deal with the abuse he sends me.

[Author]

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