[paula5]

Hi all, I’m new, I have a son of nearly 34, he’s been a heroin addict for half of his life and also has alcohol issues. He’s the eldest of 5 and the only one with issues. He’s living with me at present and has been for approx. 6 years. He’s been with me for most of the time apart from a few years in a flat, which went badly wrong and the times when he has stolen from me and I’ve made him leave. He is on a methadone programme and has been for most of the last 13-14 years, we did have a period of a few months, about 8 years ago when he had worked his way down to subutex and was off drugs completely but it didn’t last long. He works as a labourer and a lot of the time looks healthy, mainly because I cook meals for him and make him look after himself but that of course is on the outside, goodness knows what’s going on inside. I can’t remember the last time I felt relaxed or happy? Sounds daft but I’m so used to living in preperation for whatever comes that I don’t know how to be anything else. At work, I’m the happy one, I’ve always got time to listen to peoples problems and will help in any way I can, It’s ironic that everyone thinks I can cope with anything that life throws at me and to be fair, I can, but they don’t know any of this, I’m a good actor. He’s behaving now and has been for the last 10 years but previously, he’s been to prison more than once, been beaten badly, stabbed, run over, has taken overdoses, burgled my house, stolen my car and taken bad heroin which gave him gangrene in his leg and he had to have a lot of muscle removed, he was in Intensive care for 2 weeks and had 7 operations to remove it. Lately, he’s put the oven on at night to cook something and then passed out. I work shifts and I no longer check him when I come home during the night as this was taking over my life. He’s helpful and polite when he’s in this world and a selfish soul destroying person when he’s in the other place. I see his daily struggle and love him dearly but as I’m getting older I wonder if this will now be my life until one of us falls off our perch! His dad is a good person and they have a lot of contact but he has remarried and to be quite honest he couldn’t deal with it even before then, we’ve been divorced for over 20 years. I don’t know why I’m writing this really as the advice I would give would be, he’s old enough to be living elsewhere and I should be having a less stressful life and if it all goes wrong I’ve done all I can but ………anyway, thanks for taking the time to read this.

[lindyloo]

Hi Paula 5

Welcome to the forum , there are lots of people here who have loved ones with addictions. There also people in recovery offering support and advice. The forum has advice and support and so do the Icarus trust who post regularly.

I’m so sorry to hear of your troubles and I want you to know that someone is listening and people on this forum really care and support each other.

My son is 27 and has been dabbling for more than 10yrs. It comes to a head a year ago. No money, drug debt, job insecure because of absence. Thankfully he reached out to us, went to daily AA, CA and NA meetings (now online) met others, they support each other, do the 12 steps program, does meditation for anxiety. Not gonna lie, he’s relapsed a few times, but he’s trying even though it’s tough.

Everyone’s different, deal with it differently. I can’t talk to my sisters or folks about it, it’d blow their minds.

If you click onto ‘share your story ‘ and read the Theresa thread, there’s about 6 of us mums all with sons who have addictions.

Don’t be alone in this, we deserve a bit of happiness in all this too.

Always here to chat,

Lx

[paula5]

Thank you Lindyloo, I have found the thread, much appreciated.

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