[lizmaby2gmailcom]

My youngest son is a coke and weed addict he drinks any alcohol he can and we’ve just found out he is running drugs for a dealer. We knew he had problems but never to this extent. He has mental health problems adhd and lost his job his car and girlfriend. He won’t help himself – I’ve had to throw him out as he’s destroying our life. Up all night sleeps all day. Putting down boundaries and guiding him to access support has been useless

My question is this- how do you if indeed you do- accept them back because I don’t want him home unless he’s clean but I can see that now he has every opportunity to mix with dealers get worse and how will he quit?

This is destroying me i hate who he has become he looks shocking I’ve lost him

[lindyloo]

Hi Liz, welcome to the forum, everyone here has a loved one with addictions.

I am so sorry to read your story. This is a very stressful time for you and the family. I wanted you to know that there’s no need to feel alone in this nightmare.

My son is 28 and has alcohol and cocaine addictions, I know how this evil drug can turn our sons into people we don’t recognise anymore. They become selfish, unfeeling, aggressive, run up debt, and expect you to pay it. They will blame you for all their problems. The truth is, they always hurt those who are closest to them. I’m sorry to say in my experience, until they realise they have a problem, nothing you say will make them change.

It would be difficult to put him out the house, but sometimes you need to put your own health and well-being first. He needs to know you love him but hate what addiction is doing to him.

The Icarus trust posts here and the adfam forum offers help and advice for families. I post on the Theresa thread, there are several of us mums all with sons with addictions. Everyone is so understanding and supportive.

Please stay strong.

Lx

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