[florence]

My son has been using for approx 3-4 years but it’s really got out of control over the last 18 months.

I threw him out last week and his dad (for the first time ever) stepped up but now a week in he’s had enough.

My son now feels like neither of us want him, I want him so much to come home but I’m so scared it’s all going to start again. Which after only a week it probably is.

[debc]

Hi Florence,

Welcome to the Forum.

I am the Mum of an addict (alcohol and cocaine), and I fully sympathise with you, it’s not something that I would wish on my worst enemy, it’s like living in hell.

I can only speak from experience, and I so wish that I had done things differently, hindsight is a wonderful thing. I only have one child and he is an addict, but I now realise that this is not my fault.

I would not enable him by lending him money, never having it back, and being so much firmer with him and knowing when to walk away instead of trying all the time to make sure he was ok, I now realise that this was him manipulating me.

Is he prepared to get any help or is he ready to do this? Only they can decide this.

There are lots of stories on here which are all sadly the same. Try and read the Theresa thread, lots of mums with sons who are addicts, and it’s so good to be able to chat with other people in a similar situation.

Keep in touch on here, and know that you are not on your own.

Take care

Dx

[florence]

Thanks Deb, I really appreciate your response.

He’s saying all the right things at the moment but I’ve heard these things before so I’m cautiously waiting to see if he acts on anything.

I’ve reached the putting in boundaries stage but it’s taken me a long time and I’ve definitely enabled his behaviour for far too long.

He’s now back but I’m so scared of what’s to come and exhausted with all the effort put in to get him out that his dad has now made it all worse. I feel I’m having to deal with it all on my own, again who’s his dad gets really angry and says just stop. If only it was that easy.

I’ll look at the thread you suggested, thank you.

🙂

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