[jasminnie]

So I have kicked my son out again, which breaks my heart. He is 24 and has been doing drugs since he was 18. He’s in debt up to his eyeballs and letters keep coming to our house with companies wanting paying, ie car insurance and credit cards. He wanted money and I said no so as usual he starts calling me all the names under the sun and it really hurts.

He’s admitted he pays between £300 & £500 a week on cocain and is always skint. He has also tried kicking the door in if we don’t let him. In, we’ve had the police but that doesn’t seem to help. I feel I need to start giving him tough love, I’ve had to block him on all communication levels as I cannot deal with the abuse he sends me.

[tash12345]

I’m sorry your having to deal with this. Tough love is the way I think. Put your foot down. But also let him know your there and willing to help

[jasminnie]

Thankyou, kicking him out doesn’t sit right with me at all but for my own sanity and health I cannot see any other way

[lindyloo]

Hi Jasminnie, welcome to the forum. So sorry to hear that you are going through this nightmare which is addiction- with your son.

Unfortunately I don’t have all the answers but I wanted you to know that there’s no need to feel alone.

My son is 28 and has alcohol and cocaine addictions. He is currently in early recovery and i know every day is a battle for him.

He started dabbling at 14 and progressed to cocaine triggered by alcohol. I have been through the aggressive behaviour, the escalating debt, us being blamed for all his issues etc.

I usually post on the Theresa thread, there are several of us mums all with sons with addictions. Its so difficult to give advice as every person with addiction needs a different approach. In my opinion there needs to be a balance of the fact that he needs your unconditional love, but you need to take care of your own mental health too.

The forum has a homepage with support and the Icarus trust posts here too. There are people in recovery here, also offering support and advice from a different perspective.

Unfortunately it has to be his decision to stop and change his lifestyle. When this happens, its easier to support them I’ve found.

The AA and CA offer great support it’s been the only thing that’s worked for my son so far.

Please take care of yourself, find time for you.

Stay in touch here.

Sending hugs

Lx

[jasminnie]

Thankyou so much, I’m starting to think there is no right or wrong when it comes to addiction. When I have calmed down I will get in touch with him. I have given him those numbers and is not interested

[icarus-trust]

Hi Jasminnie,

I’m sorry to read what you are going through with your son. This must be really hard on you. If you would like some help please contact us at Icarus Trust. We are a charity that offers support to people who are dealing with addiction in their family. If you contact us one of our trained and experienced family friends will talk with you and maybe this will help you to see a way ahead.

You can contact Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website http://www.icarustrust.org

All the best.

[Author]

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