Hi Verarose,
Thank you for posting and sharing your story. Its a very hard thing that you are doing and if you feel that you would like some support for yourself please contact The Icarus Trust. We are a charity that supports people who are experiencing the impact of a friend or family member’s addiction. We have trained experienced people you could talk with if you feel it would help you.
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website http://www.icarustrust.org
Keep strong. All the best.