[cant-take-no-more]

Hey KF……What a hellish time you have had. The biggest thing I will say after reading your story is what impact has all this had on your child??? You know you cant save him, he has to want to save himself, and no amount of love will change that fact. You may not want to hear this, but I would let him get on with it. Your priority is your child…your son deserves to be in a drug free environment. EVERY time your son witnesses anything to do with drugs it chips away at what he believes to be normal family life…. Hunni theres no doubt you love him, but I bet you love your son too…….He is an adult and has made and keeps making his choice….I really hope there comes a point when he thinks enough is enough……take care xxx

[kf]

Thanks for your reply didn’t really expect a reply. It doesn’t seem to have an effect on my son at this moment in time as I always make sure he doesn’t have contact with his dad when he’s stoned. I always put my little boy first and make alternative arrangements/ decisions when he’s been using. My little boy is definately more a daddy’s boy he absolutely dotes on his dad and when I left his dad last year it broke his little heart. I was bombarded with questions… Questions I could not always answer. It’s hard! I mean what do I say to him? I sure as hell can’t tell him the truth that his father has more love for drugs than us. I suppose I’m scared in a way that my little boy is going to resent me for leaving his dad. I love my son more than life and he’s always my priority. I make sure there is no drugs in the house well apart from his methadone which is stored in a safe with a code which I have the code for too and that’s in a locked cupboard. My partner can go months without using this is what I’m finding hard to deal with and he really doesn’t want to do heroin anymore, he has told me he wants help to get off it. Methadone isn’t helping he has become reliant on it. He has been attending drug counselling and he has spoken to his doctor about doing subutex (don’t know if that’s how you spell it) and has also spoken about this implant thing so I know he wants to give it up. Thing is when he’s not using he is a brilliant daddy to our son as I mentioned above my little boy absolutely adores him. You are absolutely right though I do not want our son turning out like his dad. I sometimes think to myself if my partner used drugs all the time it would be sooo much easier to leave. I do to but I honestly thought me leaving last year would be his wake up call… Obviously I was wrong xxx

[cant-take-no-more]

Im glad he is taking his addiction seriously..atleast he has a chance..addiction is the hardest thing to beat so he will need lots of support and so will you….This group has been a godsend for me, and given me the resolve to get tough! Stay strong sweetheart and DONT drop your guard….it will be hard for him, but keep that support going and pushing him …I know at the end of the day its down to him…the only wake up call will come from him…..he needs to want it enough, and be the dad he should be, cause whilst he is using he isnt being that dad….and it will effect your son, cause kids arent stupid!! Sending hugs and love…take care of yourself and I really hope things get better and there are lots of us here if you need anything xxx

[blondie1]

how are you doing lately m8? i hope ur story is better than mine lol xx

[kf]

Thanks for your advice it’s much appreciated. I don’t know your whole situation but I hope your situation improves too. Addiction is such a horrible thing not just for the person with the addiction but for their loved ones also. Thanks again I’m really glad I found this site xxx

[grannie]

I really feel for you but I am sorry to say the drug will win. I know I have tried every thing for my son he started at 16 smoking canabis then went on to heroin he also will abuse prescription drugs valium sleeping tablets codiene anything he can get . He know how much I love him and how much it hurts but he just keeps going on this self destruct road. He has been on a methedone programme for 10 years . he lives like a tramp in his flat although in his lucid moments he rings to beg food and ask about us all I am too embarassed for him to come to the house and when he does venture up I am embarassed for anyone to see him as he looks the classic junkie ie weighs about 6 stone unkempt clothes, no teeth etc and he was such a lovely looking boy. Its terrible for me to watch. Not only that he has hepatis C and will not keep to any appointment at the hospital. I feel like giving in I am tired of it all but I know deep down it will not stop . Unfortunately the drug will stop him. Sorry this is how I feel xx take care and live your life and let your little boy live his in peace.

[brens]

Ive been with my boyfriend for 4years now; i always suspected that he was n addict; he admitted to being a smoking heroin addict; now that he came out its the worst time of my life! his parents chased him after stealing and i took him in; he now also steals from me; i buy him cigarettes; clothes; food; and he still works as a translator at the university; HOW i dont know? i am finished physically and mentally; he drains every little happiness from me; heroin and drugdealers has become my problem now; i love him but cannot take the lies and deceit anymore; we waiting for a bed at Witrand SA; only 8 beds available; no medical aid: i dont know how long i can still take this? my story about embarrassed feelings well shared with you.

[starrycat]

Hey Kf,

This is literally 6 years later. But I totally relate. Do you still use this site?

[esta]

You say your little boy is oblivious; I can promise you he isn’t and the longer it goes on the more normal it will become.

imagine the horror of finding him foil or needle in hand in a few years time

Hard as it is You need to step away and if he really wants to stop that might be his turning point

It’s really up to you if it changes and what you want from life for you and your son

He has his own decisions and choices to make and so far addiction has ruled the journey

You have given up your family to be with him but he hasn’t repaid you by quitting and giving you the life you deserve yet

Addicts are unfortunately so selfish with money and manipulation it’s mind bending and soul destroying

He has OD on you that’s horrific enough for you to deal with

There has to come a turning point

[Author]

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