Hi Sheryl,
Thanks for sharing your story. I’m sorry that life is so difficult for you. If you need any one to talk to in addition to what Adfam have described above, please contact Icarus Trust.
We are a charity that support people like you badly affected by a partner’s addiction and we have people you could talk with, who would understand what you are going through, which might help you.
You can contact Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website http://www.icarustrust.org
Hoping things improve for you.
Good luck.