[Lizzie21]

my partner has become addicted and dependant on cociane. We met when we was mid teens we are now early 30s and been through a hell of alot together including parent bereavement, misscarriage and me being critically poorly when I was pregnant resulting our daugter being born prem.

 

I found out about the cociane over a year (after not long before finding out he had a gambling problem – online spins)  ago and he told me he did have a problem so i sent him to his mums, i sought him some help from our local drug and alcohol service which he seemed happy to recieve. Life carried on. Since then he has told me lies, got himself in debt, become a isolated person, lost contact with friends, lost tons of weight. When he first sought help he didnt fully open up, so continued to use which i later found out. I stood by him to get him more professional help from our local D&A service, he seemed a little better. However my trust has been shattered but desperately wanted to keep our family together, my daughter loves her dad, naturally he is an amazing dad, and somewhere deep down i still love him. However over the weekend he had a nervous breakdown and admitted he was still using. I knew then i had to leave. I have put all my energy and more in helping him and standing by him but this time i had to leave and it was time to put myself. I went to my brothers and i told my family everything and my god the relief i felt from hiding this torture and pain for all this time. My brother immediately went to see my parnter and found him in crisis. My brother took him to his mums they tokd her everything and she realised he needed an intervention. On monday he went to a residential rehab. I like to think i am an understanding person and understand that it must take some massive balls to admit he needed rehab and walk into there.

Telling my family and closest friends was so difficult and although i still feel a broken mess the support they are giving myself and our daughter is amazing, overwhelming in some sense.

 

I am currently suffering from anxiety i can not sleep, i am trying to hold everything together for my daughter who is 3 btw. Although i am trying my best to trying to put myself first i am still so worried about him. My whole world has been turned upside down. I know i can not rebuild my relationship with my partner has too much hurt, deceit and mistrust has happened however i am hoping he is finally recieveing the right level of helo for the sake of himself and his daughter and if he can i will support him as her dad. However i am absolutely broken and devastated that our lives have come to this. I feel like i am grieving for the life and relationship we once had and terrified of my future of figuring all this out.

[navy]

Hello Lizzie

im so sorry to read your heartache, especially with a beautiful little girl who loves her daddy. This must be so difficult for you.  You also should be so proud of yourself having the courage to walk away and get help for yourself, which in turn has helped him along the way.
no wonder your suffering with anxiety, have you been to the doctor for help or a therapist to talk too as you have been through a traumatic experience. You sound like a strong woman dig deep to find her again and remember your not at fault, you are amazing. You need to put yourself first so you can look after your little girl.

I do hope that rehab is working for him and he realises what he put you both through.
Are you in touch with his family to find out how he is doing.

remeber you and your little girl comes first, look after yourself, stay strong and true to yourself

thinking of you

navy xx

[tarab]

So sorry to hear this Lizzie

how are you and your daughter doing now ? I hope you are cooking day by day ?
also how is your partner doing in rehab ?

I asked my husband to leave 10 weeks ago and He is the same and getting worse we have 3 children and together 20 years he said we are over and is continuing to take drugs I have asked him to get help and I hope he does it’s heart breaking

I hope you can get something to help the anxiety I had to the first few weeks I hope your hubby can get better and your children won’t remember this

take care and let me know how you are x

[tarab]

I meant to say taking things day by day not cooking

[Lozzy80]

<p style=”text-align: left;”>Wow Lizzie you are so so strong. The road ahead will be tough in terms of keeping your resolve and not take him back… Sorry I am saying this without knowing anything other than what you have shared here but it’s highly likely your partner will try to win you back…try not to feel sorry for him or think its only you who can save him, you cannot. They can only do this themselves and its the most horrendous agonising heart wrenching thing for us to have to walk away whilst they self destruct.</p>
I really hope your ex makes a full recovery, but please continue as you are putting you and your daughter first at all times. If you ever feel yourself slipping back don’t worry talk to your friends and family, I so wish I could be as open with mine but sadly they take a very strict view so I’ve kept my husbands cocaine addiction hidden for years… I did leave him but I took him back, whilst there’s been some good times it’s slowly spiralled back to the bad times and I regret my decision so much now. So please, take it from me, you are doing the absolutely right thing xx

 

 

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