[zoerg]

Hi we’ve been together 2 years known each other for 14 there was always a thing between us but was never acted upon … til I finally let my guard down and let him into my heart … now two years later I’ve fell in love with him and he’s a cocaine addict this I never knew before although I did know other stuff he was a bit of a player and a cockey person came across as a very confident person.. oh no how I was so wrong … so two weeks ago I told him to leave he gave me no choice I had to do it for him to realise what he’d lose …. apparently I’m his world …. so It was two weeks yesterday says he’s off it says it’s nice to have a clear mind etc etc then I get told he was seen getting money out the cash machine going to a car giving the money then putting something in his phone case the day before … now my mind is racing so I asked him who did you meet in the car park at the shops yesterday oh that was the kitchen fitter I had to pay him for the job he helped me with .. hhhmmm do I believe him!! So after two years of lies manipulation deceit betrayal all them things do I believe him no I don’t … in the two weeks he was away he made up some cock n bull story the app for his personal bank account was playing up so had to be reset consequently removing it from my phone so I asked yesterday if I could have the details to put it back on my phone then I get all the bullshit oh in order for this to work I need you to trust me if I have that in the beginning it will work blah blah I said you need to help me get these thoughts out of my head so why wouldn’t he give me the details unless he had something to hide which has been the case for the last two years my life has been drained living with a coke addict …. it’s affected my kids his kids my family his family I just don’t know what to do anymore don’t know what to believe anymore ????????

[kel1]

Hi Zoe, after all that time with your guard up and then you allow your heart to be open – now this. Well, all I can say is try not to beat yourself up for that, it’s ok to have opened your heart, it shows your love for another person. You are not to blame here.

Unfortunately, lies, betrayal, and all the rest of it comes with the territory with this drug. I think what hurts the most, well from my perspective is the Betrayal! The break down in trust, and the idea that somehow”we are imagining things”.

God I was blamed, lied to, cheated on and so much more so I feel your pain.

He really needs to want to help himself, and that starts with being honest. If his actively used then the pull of that drug has probably got control of him. It’s awful, and I hate that drug.

It ruins people. Maybe you are his world, but at the moment he isnt in the “real world”. Sometimes they say they want to change but put little action into it.

Focus on you and your kids. Be kind to yourself and let him go sort himself out. Women are not rehabilitation centers for people with problems! You/ we deserve better

[zoerg]

Yes I/we do ….. I’ve never had to deal with anything like this before so it’s really hard to know how to handle it and how to deal with it the right way ….. I’ve got him help with the right people where we live but I think they don’t see him as an extreme case as he still goes to work etc etc …..I’ve said part of recovery is being up front n honest with everyone including his 3 kids but now they’ve told him they would’ve rather not been told about his problem and I feel I’m being blamed for that … as the family think that kids should be ‘protected’ from things like this where as I don’t ????????

[kel1]

Nothing you’ve done is your fault. And yeh living with an addict is hell! Literal hell.

Hope you’re doing alright – keep strong ????

[brooke714]

I’m going through the exact same thing you are. I have left multiple times in hopes he will change for myself and our kids. I am finally living separately while trying to help but he keeps relapsing and I’m not sure I can keep living my life this way. One thing I know for sure is to never believe them. They know how to lie so good it will make you second guess yourself to the point you think you are crazy. I hope the best for you and stay strong!

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